Names have been withheld, really, I quite had to😉
This story is rather hard to peg.
It’s basic skeleton is loosely laid out like an Ocean’s Eleven movie plot, but with far fewer participants…
At it’s heart, it’s a rapscallions’ tale,
at it’s soul, it becomes something much deeper…
Have you ever been cajoled into doing a task that is totally out of your comfort zone and experience? But asked in such a way that your very being cannot resist the urges to carry it out?
That is what this tale is all about, well sort of…
Please Read on….
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Chapter 1
Recess is over
“Sigh Here goes it then, He probably is still sitting and drinking scotch at the bar!” ……
I said this myself as I stood alone in a side court of the brick building that had once been an eel tinning factory in the late 1800s.
I had lit my pipe to help ease the wait as the stage was being set up inside, and also to calm down the reluctance I was feeling for my upcoming task!
As I had sent circles of smoke swirling upwards, I busied myself by looking around at the odd shapes in the aged stained red bricks, surprisingly graffiti-free!
After the eel business failed, the building had seen many uses: a church, field hospital during the raids, a restaurant, and now a photography studio upstairs and fancy reception hall downstairs.
One of my customers had given me tickets to attend this fancy-dress affair, being held in the reception hall. The chance to dance, imbibe in a rather nice selection of liquor, and french appetizers. Along with an opportunity to be charitable to OX Fam.
I had come willingly enough, but my enjoyment of the festivities had been somewhat dampened by being requested to carry out an unexpected task about an hour ago.
A task really quite unrelated to my line of work!
Sort of like a Queen’s Guardsman being asked to do step out of line and do an Irish jig was the way I felt over it!
So, blimey then, why did I agree to be cajoled into it?
Well please read on, all things will be made clear in the end, providing I can pull the bloody stunt off!
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So now I put out my pipe, knocking out the ashes against my patent leather shoe, brown, to go with my brown suit, brown silk tie and solid yellow starched shirt I was wearing out to that afternoons’ reception.
“I suppose, let’s find the Bugger!” I told myself with a slight hesitation, but with no whine in me voice ( for the record)!
I then promptly turned away and moved off, forcibly striding my way back inside…
I needed to see a man about a wager he was unaware that he was making as of yet!
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Chapter 2
Enter the Lecturer
Ten minutes later I was back inside and had made my way through the chattering crowd.
I had said it the first time I had entered, and I repeated myself as I re-entered. I hadn’t seen so many attractively dressed ladies and refine, posh dressed males since the last BAFTA awards party I had been dragged too!
Not that I was complaining mind you, for I am just as much an appreciator of such a view as the next bloke. Especially in my line of business!
So I guess that is my excuse for not quite successfully keeping my focus on the task at hand that was inadvertently before to me…
But I finally managed an approach up to the long scarred oaken bar, after weaving my way amongst the countless numbers of mingling guests, all dolled up for the evening.
Once at my destination, I Ordered an old fashion (with rye ), and looked around.
He was still in his seat at the end of the bar, looking a bit more toshed, his hair and clothes a bit more hardscrabble.
Taking a long gulp of my drink, I carried it over and sat down on a stool next to him and said pleasantly.
” How is it going, Mate?”
He had been studying the dance floor, but with my greeting sighed and pulled himself away to look me up and down with a rather suspicious eye.
I met his gaze squarely, still smiling, avoiding the impulse to stare at the lit cigarette dangling from his lip. Being a pipe man meself , I was a wee bit opinioned when it came to sloppy cigarette smokers, especially those who left the bloody things dangle cheekily in their mouths at all times.
“Wotcher,” he said, a bit snidely I thought since I was just trying to be friendly.
“Do I know you then, Guv?” He quizzically added.
“ Sorry, Thought you looked like a bloke I knew up Manchester way,” I said apologetically.
“Not from there am I, guv !” He stated rather dismissively, as he then took his attention off of me and planted it back onto the dance floor.
I steadfastly plowed on…
“Well, one can’t always be right, can one?”
Then after no reaction, I finished my drink (easily downed, weak as it had been made )and placed the glass down, signaling the Keep.
“Just getting a drink, I see yours is out, whatcha be having then?” I asked as the bartender came up to us.
“Highball,” he said smartly, sneering at me, before turning back away. For some reason, I was not surprised at the bloke’s drink of choice.
If I had not had been given a job to do, and under different circumstances, I would have told the bartender to get him a ‘shirley temple’!
Instead, I placed the order, asking for an Irish whiskey, neat, for myself. I needed support!
I looked back at the man-boy sitting next to me.
He certainly was most interested in the goings-on the ballroom dance floor!
We were served our drinks.
He picked his up with taking his eyes off the dancers!
I took a long, gloriously settling, sip, letting the warmth settle right down to my stomach.
That’s better I thought, letting out a sigh, a bit too deeply probably, but my new acquaintance, with full attention still on the ballroom dance floor, paid my comments no heed.
He hadn’t asked me my name, which was fine by me, kept me from having to remember the one I would have had to make up.
Nor did I care to know this blokes name either, though I was harboring a pretty good guess that it would be a rather recognizable one, either mentioned from the telly or last weeks’ fish and chip wrappers.
But I could see I was losing the chap’s attention!
I caught the Keeps eye and indicated a refill was in order for my new found ‘mate’.
“Pretty,” I said following his gaze as I pointed my glass out towards the dancers
“What ‘s pretty ?!” he stated sharply, still not diverting his eyes.
I noticed that they were a bit shifty, his eyes, like a sly, watchful fox, and that they moved with a rapid constancy. Think a young Trevor Howard with Peter Lorre’s eyes, and you have the chap to a T!
“The dancers, mate” I answered, “this lot is dressed rather elegantly tonight!”
He peeled his eyes off the dancers twirling and swishing about and turned slowly to me, a bit scornfully, “what did you expect guv, its full dress tonight, that’s why I have this bloody uncle’s monkey suit on, taint it?”
“Indeed sir” , I said agreeably with what I hoped was a winningly sincere voice.
Though down deep, to be honest, I felt this prig deserved anything but politeness.
Still, I carried on, trying to be friendly, remembering that if this was played right, the endgame would be a most satisfying one!
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Chapter 3
School is in session
T’is time, It was my turn to look away from his smirking gaze.
I took a sip of my Irish and looked out over the dancefloor.
It looked like something out of the ballroom scene from Shaw’s ‘Pygmalion’( Or My Fair Lady)
I was looking for some in particular, a certain lady actually!
I soon saw her, and after watching for a few wistful seconds, I raised my glass and pointed her out to my drinking mate.
“That lass in the green is pretty,” I remarked, nodding in a direction by the far corner of the floor to where a rather petite, jittery appearing, lady with black hair, prettily clad in a shiny bit of a green gown. She was wearing large black glasses that were owlishly perched on her nose. She also was flaunting a rather nice little set of shimmering emeralds!
The petite lass was dancing with a bird-like bloke wearing, of all things, a scarlet red vest.
“Whotcher looking at Guv?” he asked, interest peaking up as he began eagerly scanning the room to see what I was on about.!
“That lass in greens satin, dancing with robin redbreast by the mirrors!” I pointed out, the added…
“Personally, I like the way her emerald jewelry sets off against her gown!”
He caught sight of them as the danced by one of the big reflective mirrors that lined the dance floors’ west wall.
He took the view in, and I noticed he had nearly drained his highball in one gulp and had set it down without a kind word, like say, thank you for buying..!
He was on his way to a real bender if he kept up with that pace I thought, eyeing the two other, empty glasses, already collected at his elbow on the bar top!
Which is right where we needed him to be! I thought as I nodded again to the barkeep to bring another round…
I looked back at my drinking buddy, I could see his shifty eyes flitting about.
“Whas’at” he finally stated sourly, “You like that gangly four-eyed bird dancing with cock robin? He snorted at his own ‘witty’ remark.
Then looking at me for a long second, he continued on…
“Like her jewels do ya than mate?” He said not bothering to hide the snide meaning in his comment! “Meself, Guv, I notice more than a sweetie’s bloody jewels!”
He again chuckled dryly at his presumed wit, I did not choose to join in, just sat there smiling to myself before speaking again.
“Occupational hazard I guess, noticing Jewels, I mean.”
I admitted, choosing not to expound on my drinking partner’s opinion.
“I own a small jewelry shoppe on a village green.” “Nothing much, but it pays one’s rent.”
That opened him up, just a wee bit…
“I guess than a gent like you would prattle on about jewels” “Is that what brings you alone here this evening?” “I ain’t seen you out dancing with anyone.”
There was definitely insinuation behind his voice and though I would for the world like to put this bugger in his place, my responses to him would continue treading along a delicate path. I had to mince words if I didn’t want my emerging scheme blowing up in my face.
Which is why I would not be giving any quick replies!
So, after the observation was spoken, I let him continue on in his dry, sniping tone that I was beginning to realize was his normal manner of speech! For the upper class education this twit had had, he certainly had not grasped the proper way of speaking. Professor Henry Higgins would have had a field day with this bloke!
Let this nitwit lead himself into the trap, I thought to myself, this may prove easier then we thought!
So, I just smiled in acknowledgment as he spoke further…
“So, you just want a bit of a peek at what you sell guv!” he snorted, elbowing me before continuing on…
“Myself, I just like looking at the whole bleeding curvy package, ‘iffin you get my drift ! Though your green bird wearing them shiny bits you like, is a bit underdeveloped in my opinion! ”
Giving me a weaselly little grin, he again nudged me with his elbow, editing a mirthless cackling laugh!
Then, taking the last long gulp of his drink, wiping his mouth on a tux sleeve, he turned his attention raptly back onto the thronging occupants of the dance floor.
He didn’t signal for another round, which was probably because he was too cheap to repay me in kind!
So I again caught the Barkeep’s eye, we were becoming rather acquainted with one another, he came back over, and I indicated a refill for my friend, indicating I was still good with mine.
I believed I had now spotted the opening I had been trying to lead him around to! I took a deep breath and delved into the breach.
For our ploy, it was now sink or swim time!
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Chapter 4
History Lesson
When one is trying to do something for the first time, without prior practice, it is difficult not to make a mistake(s).
So, The Risk of what I was about to try was that I had just had the request sprung on me, without any forewarning or time to practice! If I made a single mistake or misspoke then my whole attempt would tumble down like a house of cards!
What I was trying to pull off was getting this smart-mouthed cockney git to make a wager with me, a rather unconventional one at that!
So, I just threw all caution to the wind, and began a buildup to reach my selling point!
I started with a question after he was served his fresh drink.
“So then, what do you do when you are not attending these rather posh affairs?”
I asked this, trying to keep a wedge in our conversation. Even though the answer was pretty obvious from the blighter’s manner of dress, and baby smooth manicured fingers!
“Nuttin” he said through gritted teeth, never diverting his gaze to me…
“Don’t hafta work like a regular blighter, gets a small allowance from me father don’t I! Not much though, old parental gents are too cheap by half if you ask me, livin in the stone age where an extra few quid is concerned!!”
He spat out the last few words.
So, this rich guys pup can always use a bit of cash I thought happily to myself!
“Shame” I sympathetically pretended to agree, “but still, cheers to being able to keep a roof over one’s head.” I raised my still ¼ full drink and clinked it against his glass.
We both drained our glasses in salute and I again ordered another round.
After we were served, my new ‘friend’ , out of the side of his mouth since his eyes were glued back on the ballroom dancers, stated wryly…
“You like’n them emeralds Guv? ”
I could see his eyes were again stuck on watching the girl with the unfortunately large eyeglasses, who was elegantly wearing,( in my own humble opinion), the green satin gown. The whole affair offset with her brite glittering emeralds.
He went on as if thinking aloud…
“Broad’s a bit too mousey for my taste, ole 4 eyes there, still, I wouldn’t say no to admire’ in what curves she has under that shiny dress!” And he let out another little guffaw at his crude witticism.
Crude, apparently being a trademark of all this Bloke’s remarks!
I choose to ignore his rather rude comment, and went on, trying to remain unruffled by my new friends’ rather blunt outlook on the fairer sex!
As we both were watching her, I amiably made her the target of our small talk, gently leading him around to the query and wager I was leading up to…
“I admire any gemstones that I can sell my dear sir. But there are other things that I will also allow to command my interest!” I said casually, delicately, “
“ W’thats you on about then?” He asked, reluctantly taking his eyes from the dance floor and placing his attention fully back onto me, as he looked me over like he had just now noticed I was there!
I remembered thinking, yeah ya bleeding prig, three free drinks and not a thank you insight, ya haven’t even asked my name! Not that the one I would have given him would have been my own! Picked a winner here, I did!
But when I spoke, my words and manner of speech did not betray any of those thoughts!
“Well”, I admitted rather sheepishly, “In my line of work I come across many alerts from the constabulary about ladies who have had jewels come up missing, and am asked to keep an open eye out for them.”
He looked suspiciously at me.
“The bloody bobbies ask YOU about it?” he questioned.
“No” I admitted, “all jewelers receive the same circulars. But you see, the thing that piques my curiosity at these events is to try and catch one in action!”
“Catch one what guv ?” he asked quizzically.
“Thief!“ I announced in an ‘everyone one knows’ tone of voice’, pausing a few seconds before I continued on…
“You see lad, a good many circulars describe how ladies lose a bit of their jewelry at functions like these from time to time. It is assumed that the expensive pieces just had bad clasps, but me, I am not so sure that is the case, for it appears to happen far too frequently in these parts! Plus a lot of times they end up trying to be pawned at shoppes like mine, and the clasps looked fine. So are they just finding them lost on the floor, or is there something else going on!”
“What else would it be guv?” He asked, his sluggish curiosity, finally, peaking!
“Well,” I said, leaning into him rather conspiratorially…
“ I have come to the conclusion that there are a fraction of thieves out there that can lift jewels being worn by ladies, like these being worn here tonight, without being caught in the act! And I attend functions like these on the off chance to see if my thesis is correct!”
“Thesis?” my rather cheeky friend asked, not getting the drift. “
I sighed inwardly, thinking entirely to myself that we will be here all evening if I have to explain everything to this. most likely privately schooled, but still uneducated Git! I decided to go easy on the verbiage with him going forward!
“Thesis means theory lad, a belief that, say, our lady yonder in the green frock could be parted from her emeralds by one of her dance partners, if the bloke was of the mindset to acquire them in that manner! If you get my drift.”
He didn’t, so I calmly went into more detail…
“What I am saying is that since she wouldn’t be suspecting it, a dance partner, say, may have an eye for her necklace, and slip the emeralds away from around her very throat. Without her even noticing, until he was long gone!”
“ You sayin guv?” “ that that swarmy cock robin bloke dancin with that skrawny 4 eyed chick, maybe after her necklace?”
“Rot!” he smirked, taking his eyes off of the couple and onto me, “nigh impossible to do such a thing!”
He snickered at the thought, then added…
“Besides, If someone was that interested in nicking her jewels, why not just follow her out and do a complete job of it !?”
“A lot more risk involved being caught doing it that way Mate, not to mention it is rather obvious that she is being robbed! No, to do it this way a thief could come away scot-free with the goods without any suspicions falling upon himself.”
I stated in a quite logical tone of voice.
With his eyes back on the dancing couple, he questioned my reasoning…
“But a bloke would have to be a rather quick-fingered one like a pickpocket wouldn’t he now?”.
And have someone to practice on, I thought to myself before answering in a reassuring tone…
“Not A ‘toll my good sir,” I assured, “I think it could be done by anyone with relative ease, I bet even non-thieves like you or I could do it with some success, especially if the lady in question has had a bit too much to drink, or is nearsightedly clumsy !”
“Or both!”
he stated without thinking…
Then catching himself, he snidely went on questioning me…
Blimey mate, your still half-cracked barmy for even thinking that way!”
He sneered, but I knew a seed had been planted…
For I saw him take a long, speculative look at the lady fetchingly clad in green satin, still being waltzed merrily along the dance floor.
I also found it vexing that she was completely unaware that her nicely shimmering emeralds had become such a rather unscrupulous topic of speculative supposition over them being lifted off from her!
A topic that needed to become more than mere speculation!
So In conspiracy, I commented under my breath…
“Ten quid lad!”
“Whots that then mate?” He perked up while addressing me quizzically, “Tenner for what?”
“Ten quid Says I could lift that particular lady’s emerald necklace straight away, and not be caught out in the process?
He thought about it for one long minute, finishing his drink in the meantime. “Don’t know guv, the local Bobbies may frown upon that!”
I countered, trying to set the hook in deep, figuring a bit of creative lying would be in good order to ease away from his concerns.
“Not if I don’t get caught lad, and that necklace is only a cheap imitation. She probably got it out of a crackerjack box, and being chintzy, she wouldn’t be surprised at the clasp breaking away and it falling as she danced! If she would happen to even notice my amateur attempt, would she now?”
I could see he was mulling something over as I spoke, as his limp cigarette was bobbing up and down still clamped in his pursed lips. It was certainly a long time coming together, this blokes’ imaginary skills!
He nodded towards the lady in green, as she was happily being swished around the dance floor in all of her innocence bliss. Those brilliant emeralds of hers making a nice show of it, sparkling on like they were, just crying out to be noticed and admired, which they were, and perhaps soon that sparkling cry would be hushed out by admiring fingers!
“Suppose that gangly 4 eyed bird looks gullible enough to try it out on. Probably too shy, so won’t make much fuss when she catches you trying!”
He looked at me cynically…
“And make no mistake guv, you will be caught… and then I wouldn’t know you from Adam!”
He held out a greedy hand, fingers beckoning as he chortled …
So, the, with that said, make it two for one guv, I’ll hold onto your twenty, and you are on a bet!” He chortled.
And like that, the hook was set! Though, blimey, I had seen carp from the ‘Myths’ finally taking the bait with less subtly!
“Capital!” I acknowledged, “I appreciate a good challenge!”
But my newly found ‘Mate’ did not answer, his eyes greedily studying the £20 in his grasp!
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Chapter 5
Field Trip
I arose, straightening my jacket and tie, and looking over to where the lady wearing the green gown was blissfully dancing…. I commented under my breath, half encouraging to myself…
“You are on lad!”
And marched myself off to the dance floor without looking back, even when I clearly heard him smirkingly make a rude sound to my back!.
The current song was ending and I caught up with my quarry as she began nicely swishing her way off the dance floor with cock robin leading the way.
Gently laying fingers upon a scintillating satin clad shoulder, I touched her from behind.
She turned and fixed me with a rather fetchingly heart-tugging demure look of questioning upon her face from a pair of intriguingly hazel coloured eyes.
Said eyes were rather enticingly enlarged by being behind the thick-lensed black glasses she was wearing.
“Care to dance?” I asked, with some earnest, ( after all twenty quid is twenty quid)!
She smiled, laying upon me an aire of innocence that rather took me aback for an instance…, then said sweetly
“Sorry lad, I am a bit worn out just now !”
My heart dropped down to my feet at that!
Seeing my utter disappointment, then she continued with a perked smile, placing a gloved hand to her throat and playing with the very necklace, one which decidedly, despite my earlier comments, would not have come from a crackerjack box!
“I will be guess‘in that I can’t see what harm one more dance could do a girl, would it then ?”
She spoke with a rather soft sort of Irish brogue, that was the second generation at best, but had me hooked with its lyrical lilt!
She turned towards her waiting escort, who was casting daggers my way with his eyes!
She nodded to, raising her green gloved hand for him to take with a gentle dismissal, and then he begrudgingly left!
“Brilliant!”
I said with heartfelt meaning and led her back to the wooden dance floor as the orchestra was getting ready to start up playing music again.
A slow dance started up and I took her in my arms, keeping a discreet, friendly distance between us.
We made small talk, though I avoided talking anything about jewelry.
Trying to think like a thief would in this situation.
I was figuring in my mind that if the plan was to be carried out with success, I, and my victim, needed to stay well away off the subject of the jewels she was wearing!
I did, however, manage to steal several discreet glances at her necklace, a pretty thing.
It consisted of a thin gold chain, set with a single row of emeralds divided by small sparkly chips of diamonds. It had a loose lay around her neck, bouncing easily along with their perch, which was just nicely above the girl’s tightly satin clad chest!
All in all, a quite completely vexing show indeed!
Also, by how the necklace was moving loosely about, partially laying on the slick green satin of my partner’s gown, It appeared that one could slip the whole necklace off rather easily.
If I was to now be a quick, unaccustomed judge of such matters!
After a few random comments concerning the evening’s doings, I complimented her on her pretty hair.
Which it was, pretty I mean, strikingly black, falling softly down to her shoulders where its’ curled ends swayed with a most delighting motion.
Also, the long emerald earrings that kept peeking in and out as they swung merrily from her hair were putting on a rather playful show!
She blushed, turning her head down, earrings and necklace swaying out in a rhythmic beat!
By the purely innocent way, she bashfully responded to my compliment, I was encouraged to go ahead and proceed in winning my wager!
I removed my hand from around her waist and lifted a lock with my left hand in emphasis, taking the opened opportunity to study her necklaces clasp caught in the reflection of the mirror now conveniently behind her.
I re-set my hand upon her a rather sensuous feeling backside, gently laying it nonchalantly just upon her shoulder.
The way her eyes were closed in a basking manner, she appeared not to notice the change in my grasp.
She happily ate up my compliments, giggling with pleasure as she flicked her hair back, sending her pair of lovely, longish earrings sparkling alongside her enchanting face!
The whole effect was made even more lively with those eyeglass magnified, doe-like wide hazel coloured eyes smiling with pure pleasure!
She was quite a vexing, most charming thing, my dance partner, and the conversation flowed easily between us.
She appeared to be an absolutely sweetly trusting soul, and I, with some slight reservation, made the most of it!
My hand meanwhile was still rested upon her shoulder, and I slowly allowed it to travel closer to her necklace, watching for any sign of skittishness from my dance partner.
But she continued chatting away, accepting smiles from me as silent answers, which was just as well, for my mind was set on other things, and any conversation requiring me too think out an answer would have intruded on my concentration, hampering me on the way of acquiring her necklace, and winning of our wager!
But soon there were other emotions in play!
For her long green satin gown felt like heaven under my fingertips, and I was beginning to become pleasantly mesmerized by how the sleek material fluidly swished and fluttered around us as we danced.
Actually, I soon realized that so spellbinding was my partner, that I found myself almost convinced not to play any tricks and let the wager be lost!
But then I looked up and in the reflection of the mirror, saw the smug face of the git staring at me from the bar and decided I just could not let him win!
That cleared my mind, I will say, and rekindled my interest in seeing if I could do this!
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It was then I realized that the dance music was in its final chords…
I decided I had to go for it now!
So I forced out a comment about one of the blokes sitting at the bar ( far from my fellow conspirator!), her eyes sought and found the gent out, then she fetchingly giggled in agreement to my observation.
Meanwhile, my fingers had deftly reached up to the end of the gold chain hanging down from the clasp of her necklace.
Ever so slowly I pulled it down like one would a lampshade chain, and the whole affair obligingly came down!
The hinged clasp soon was captured in my grasping fingers.
At the same time, I was watching the necklace with its flickering emeralds and diamonds, from the front, as her head had been turned towards the bar.
I noticed how the necklace was moving up, smoothly slithering along with the sleek material of her pretty gown, praying it would not catch and draw her attention!
But the sparkling little beauty behaved, and gave its’ unaware mistress no fair warning!!
We twirled around and I led her to a far corner where a group of fake trees was clustered, giving me a bit of haven from the possibility of being seen making my final move!
The music started on its final chord, I probably only had a little over a minute to make good on my attempt!
I knew the type of her necklaces’ clasp, now wedged in my fingertips, and having worked on many like it, this one presented no problem.
So it was, with surprising ease given me nervousness, the diamond emerald necklace’s necklace’s clasp nicely popped open, leaving one end of the expensive necklace laying over her shoulder, resting like a shimmery snake in the green grass, as it laid out upon her sensuously shiny gown!
Then, in quick fashion, timing it perfectly as the song ended…
I bought her willingly into a friendly hug thanking her, whilst at the same moment whisked the necklace from around the neckline of her satin gown!
It came away, smooth as sliding a melting ice cube across the surface of a piping hot griddle!
It easily slipped off, then fell safely away and was securely stowed away into a tux pocket before we had fully broken apart.
Shamelessly I smiled into her eyes.
“Thank you luv, that was rather quite pleasant !”
I told her this in all sincerity as I removed my left hand from my pocket, and delicately took her green gloved one up to kiss adieu!
She looked down at our hands for one brief second, and I eyed the quite glaringly empty spot where her rather fine necklace of emeralds and diamonds had until so very recently had been dangling.
Could it really be that easy I thought curiously to myself!
Briefly wondering also what thoughts would be in a real thief’s mind upon successfully reaching this point!
She looked back up and smiled winningly at me as I innocently looked into her eyes
I could tell she was truly clueless as to what had just transpired!
She chirped back with her rich Irish brogue…
” Pleasure was all mine, to be sure, kind sir, thank ye for the quite lovely dance, but now it’s time for a restin of weary feet ya know.”
She slipped her hand, hesitantly I thought, from mine.
And with that, she turned and I watched for a rather few elongated seconds as she swished her way off, almost wishing to myself that at the last minute she would notice the necklaces’ absence.
And in my mind, I imagined being given a second dance as a reward for finding her lost necklace, or perhaps something even better may come of it … well worth losing twenty quid over!
But she didn’t notice and was gone, soon melting in with the crowd on the opposite fringe of the wooden dance floor.
And all my imaginings and desires evaporated with her…
I then finally noticed heart was pounding up a storm!
For there I was, standing there like a loon with a lady’s still warm necklace in my jackets’ pocket!
Some thief!
We hadn’t even exchanged names, which would have been a quite natural thing to do if one was trying not to appear doing anything out of the ordinary!
It’s a wonder she hadn’t noticed and start to wonder… Maybe she was? And I pictured how she had played with the necklace as I had asked her to dance. Blimey, I wasn’t out of the woods yet, was I!.
I forced myself to turn away, and head back before any undue attention was given to me,
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Chapter 6
Social Studies
I made my way quickly to the grinning git at the bar, intending on collecting my winnings.
“That was easy!” I lied as I regained my seat and took a long sip of my drink, trying to appear complacent over the entire affair.
“Codswallop”
He said unhappily, not bothering to reach for his billfold!
“ Knew the twit was gullible, but not that stupid, she never caught on, did she now? So You were just lucky then that’s all !? ”
“I was a bit lucky” I admitted.
“But it does prove true what I was saying earlier, and if a rank armature like me could pull it off, then just think about what a regular thief could do, rather proved my point, don’t it now!”
He drained his glass and set it down sharply before responding…
“It’s not Cricket guv.”
He singled to the Barkeep by fidgeting with his empty glass, ordering another. Just for himself, apparently buying others a drink was not in this Blokes mindset, as well as paying off his depts!
He looked at me…
“Ya know Guv, I was just remembering there was a telly show where these were ladies marooned on an island. They got all themselves’ gussied up one evening with one of them dancing with this bloke she knew was a thief. She knew, and he still was able to take her necklace while dancing with her, as you did with that four-eyed twit! I would not have bet you if I had remembered that sooner. If he could do it, then I should have known any bloke could do so!”
I smirked to myself, I had seen that show also once, though I knew it was not a reality show but had been scripted with the actress being quite aware her necklace was going to be lifted ahead of time. I wondered if this blighter knew the difference!?
By the way, he still was grasping my £20, I realized that not only was the weasel not going to pay me for winning, but he was also making it look like I had cheated him to keep it!
“Bye the bye, what do you do now with her necklace guv?”
He asked accusingly, looking down at his fresh drink.
“Or are you one of them telly thieves… Maybe I should call the bobbies!?”
As he said this, he nonchalantly pocketed away my money!
I inwardly sighed…
“No worries lad, I’m just a jeweler like I said, I’ll turn it over to security at the door, found it just laying here on the floor don’tcha know sir… !”
“Security will return it to the lady, no harm done!”
Then, with a co-conspirator’s smile, I lied again…
“As I said me, lad, it’s a cheap bit of rhinestones! Otherwise, I probably would have been too nervous to accomplish it!”
He hesitated before answering, his eyes with a faraway look in his eyes!
I found myself wondering if this prig was contemplating trying to get more of my money!
This thought prompted me to say something, and as luck would have it, it turned out to be the key to opening up the whole affair!
I said, “Look, Mate, your right, she hasn’t even caught on like that lady you mentioned seeing saw on that ‘telly’ show!”
We both looked over at the lady in green. She had reappeared, joining a group at the far end, and no one is actually aware of anything amiss, let alone her innocent self!
Though I had to admit that I found the necklace’s absence from around her throat quite a glaring concern… But I remained calm about it!
The longer she took to notice, the less likely she would connect its loss with our dance, I reasoned with myself, almost feeling into the part of a suave jewel thief one sees acting out in the movies!
Turning to my co-conspirator, I admitted…
“Perhaps you are right, I may have made that wager knowing it was easy!”
He looked at me suspiciously, but I continued…
“Look now, I tell you, lad, women think their jewels are safe whilst being worn. The last thought any of em would suspect is that someone can lift their jewels off and be away..! That’s my theory on how thieves with light fingers could operate on in my humble opinion, and not only just to win ten quid on a bet!”.
I could tell that something was churning about in my now, quite liquored, friend’s narrow mind.
He turned his eyes back to our black-haired, hazel-eyed victim wearing the shiny green gown!
“Okay guv, you got away with it this time!”
“Tell you what lad,” I said turning the heat up on the situation as I pulled my wallet from a breast pocket, and counted out pound notes…
“Let us make it up to you! One hundred quid says you can do the same as I did!”
He picked up his drink, taking thoughtful sips, still studying my face, as his mind continued churning things about, before finally asking…
“And if I lose?”
I smiled, knowing the hook had been set!
“If you lose, then I will pay you twenty quid. So you will win no matter what happens, laddie!”
“Actually guv two Hundred if I win, that how sure you are I could do it? “
I whistled softly under my breath for emphasis, ”That’s about all I have !” I lied, appearing a bit hesitant.
“Com’ on Guv, a rich jeweler like yourself!” He nudged me again, and let out a snide cackle, a new cigarette dangling from a sneering lip.
“Anything but rich mate, but you are on!”
I pend my billfold and counted out the additional £100 in a pile, letting him eye up for a few seconds, the nicely thick pile of notes!
“All Yours,” I said,” if you dare try and are successful!”
I reached out my hand, he did not take it
“ And I pick the broad, right mate?” he stated.
“As long as it is not my lass in green” I answered.
He nodded in agreement, finally shaking my hand
And I shook his hand, watching a rather foxy grin spread all over his Weasley face, he openly drooled over the healthy pile of pound notes, his sodden cigarette bouncing up and down quite vigorously in his pursed lips.
Any idiot could see that he was up to something!
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Chapter 7
The A Levels Test
Not a good poker player, are ye lad I thought to meself, keeping my face in an easy grin that no way betrayed what I was actually thinking!
^^^
Feigning Curiosity, though I knew the answer I asked him…
“Whom do you have in mind?” I asked looking around with a conspirator’s aire?”
Soon I spied a rather easy mark of a gangly young lass, admirably wearing a tawny coloured taffeta gown, her tightly worn frock appearing as slick an easy a material to slip away jewelry from as the green gown my victim was wearing so winningly!
And this lass was wearing a simple, longish string of polished faux pearls, fastened with an uncomplicated hook –in-eye clasp! An easy, light necklace just begging to be lifted!
Now actually curious as to his seeing what this blighter’s reaction would be to this, I nodded his attention over in her direction, drawing his eyes from the money pile!
“That fetching lass over there in brown, one with the pearls, looks to be an easy enough one, don’t you think? Would you be eye’ in that one then?”
Not surprisingly, He shook his head no…
“Nah, as I said, I’ll choose one to my liking!”!”
As he said this, I watched as his eyes sought out and then nodded in the direction of a particular lass I had suspected he would choose…
“There, that one in blue near to your pearl hanger!” he smirked, “the one dancing with the prat in white!”
I looked over and acted as if I had just noticed her, though it had been pretty obvious that she was the one my ‘friend’ had had a watchful eye on all evening.
She was a diminutive lass, rather provocatively wearing a short sky bright blue dress of sleek silk, tightly outlining her rather pleasingly curved figure!
She was also openly sporting a nice collection of diamonds!
Authentic diamonds consisting, of a rather eye-catching bib like, 3 tiered necklaces that blazingly rippled fiery sparkles from around her throat!
Matching tiered earrings and bracelets, all equally glittering and sparkling with priceless prickles of colourful fire as she moved about almost completed the show!
She also was wearing a vulgarly large friendship diamond on her pinky, but all her other fingers were bare!
Openly appearing somewhat doubtful he could pull it off, I also kept mum about the fact her jewels being risky real, I wished him good luck!
Because, for one, mine at least obligingly had her necklace laid entirely along the collar of her gown, but this one in blue had a ruffled scooped collar, her necklace laid out above totally on the bare skin of her throat!
Granted the skin glistened with a bit of sweat, which may make it a bit more doable!
The pearls would have been much easier for him!
This one, I wouldn’t have picked her for a first attempt! Not even a second or third attempt!
It would take a master thief ( if they actually existed) to lift away that necklace off from a girl dressed as such! And despite all my assurances to my drinking mate, he was no master at anything, even sober, the caddish prig…!
That money may be as good as mine if I could pry his hands from it!!
But, in the seconds that my mind played this out, he had quickly gotten up and beelined to her, cutting in abruptly and sending her Brad Pitt look-alike dance partner, the one wearing the unfortunate white tux, scuttling off.
Subtly was not a virtue of that lad! “Bull in a china shop that one!” I whispered unbelievingly under my breath as I ordered one last Irish whiskey neat…
I watched with wonder as they danced, the lit limp dangling cigarette blowing curling hazy smoke into her face, and she scrunched her nose unhappily each time it did.
He made her dance close and had wrapped one hand, snake-like, up and around her shoulder, his lips whispering close in her ears.
She looked rather like a skittish colt but surprisingly appeared accepting of her unfortunate fate of a dance partner.
But, by Jove, despite all his cheekiness, lack of sophistication and his victim’s unease, the twit actually started to pull it off!
His hand traveled up along her backside until it reached flesh and gruffly trying to pry open her necklaces jeweled clasp.
I really don’t know how she never felt it.
But she didn’t and before one could blink (or wince), he had the jeweled clasp worked opened and had pulled the glittering necklace of diamonds moving with a shimmer up and over her slick silk covered shoulder!
His backside was now to me, and I watched the necklace, like a shimmering waterfall, drip dangling down from his fist behind her! Its glittering diamonds back-dropped nicely by the blue coloured shiny material of her dress. Surprisingly, no one else saw it in the seconds before he managed to stow it roughly away in a side jacket pocket!
I watched him turn her around in his arms until he was able to make eye contact with me, and I saw him give me quite the ‘thumbs up’ look of triumph.
He then abruptly left her, the half-drunk twit not even bothering to finish the song even, that much was he in hast to collect his pile of £200 in winnings!
And in that haste to make it back to the money pile, pretty much plowed over the green gowned lass standing in his way! The same one whose purloined necklace was now residing in my pocket!
As I saw this happing, I reached into that pocket and reassuringly felt that necklace with me fingers as I was watching it all unfold…
Now, so abrupt was the encounter on the dance floor, that the poor lass’s heavy glasses were knocked off, and she stumbled against him as she bent down to retrieve them… He pushed her unsteady figure aside, as she looked up to him for unoffered assistance, causing her to fall onto her knees.
As others came to her rescue, he walked away without a backward glance, and came over to me, smirking widely with an arrogant, self-satisfied look upon his (rather punchable at that point ) smug face.
I felt sorry for the lass in green as she picked up her gasses and was helped up by none other than cock robin in the red vest!
But red-faced with embarrassment, she left him standing there, and rushed off to take refuge in the ladies’ loo. Holding her glasses, squinting her eyes she ran up against a few guests as she scurried away in humiliating retreat!
Pay it up lad he said with a rather churlish grin… and I uneasily picked up the thick pile of notes and handed it to him.
I felt like saying something about his rudeness to the green satin gowned lass, but since I had been a rude one myself when I took her necklace, I let that sleeping dog lay quiet like.
Instead, I freely lied …
“Nicely done, old chap “Don’t forget to turn it in, I am sure the lady will eventually be a missing that very pretty piece!”
He slapped me on the backside as he gleefully counted my £ 200 worth of pound notes, looking all the world like a crafty cat who had eaten the gilded canary!
“No worries guv, she’ll get it back in due course!”
He was so sure of himself during the whole endeavor that I suppose warning bells should have been going off like gangbusters, but I gave no outward sign, my demeanor remaining icy calm, not an easy trick I will say, especially at that place and time!
I Just causally rose, and shaking his greasy, sweaty palm ( the one not tightly holding me money), lied again by sayin…
“Smartly played mate!”
I turned on me heel, my back to the bloke and walked off not looking back, letting out a long sigh of relief.
I had actually pulled the bloody spur of the moment scheme off!
I looked out onto the dance floor, marveling in the richly adorned dancers who her swishing and swirling about!
However, gone from the scene was a diminutive lass in blue, and still missing was my dance partner in green with the thick glasses!
I knew that off the pair of loos there was a back exit leading the rear parking lot, and I suspected she may have fled the ballroom using that as an escape.
“Pity.”, I said to myself, would have liked to have had a final look over at her, and her fine green-clad figure, lit under those dance floor lights one last time…!
So, I just continued dispassionately on, making my way back to the far side of the enormous chamber…
Quickly losing meself back amongst the throngs of gaily dressed, well liquored, unknowing partiers who were circling around the rest of the chamber…
Almost home I murmured happily…!
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Chapter 8
Grading on a Curve
I was meaning to leave the premises via a back exit, with its brick patio that led into the hedges surrounding the gardens.
As I went, I passed a non-caring security type on my way.
I did not wish to bother to shatter his bliss by stopping to hand over a lady’s emerald necklace, plus then having to take the time trying to explain how It happened to be in my possession!
So the lass would not be getting back her necklace in that fashion.
With a nod, I just walked casually by, a bloke with nothing to hide by all outward appearances.
That was me!
As I went outside, I felt the fresh breeze hit me face, and I breathed it deeply in, finally feeling free of all bother and worries.
I headed directly through the gated opening in the hedges, my final objective was reaching to the far side exit off of the lengthy garden that led off to the place where the red touring auto I drove was parked.
A bit of a walk, but amongst other things, It gave me time to marvel over how easily I was able to work through a situation that I was sure would Fail!
I made my way, slowing down a tad and admiring the flowers and rather ornate fountains that made up this hedged in proper little English garden.
I had one at home myself, behind the cottage, but nothing on this scale, just a brick path amongst some moss rose and lilies, with a rather ancient wrought iron bench overlooking a small stone-built pond in its centre.
I found myself automatically reaching for me pipe and pouch, figuring to contemplate with a long smoke as I walked. But immediately thought the better of it, time was, after all, still decidedly of the essence.
Soon enough, I reached my objective, then for the first time turned to look directly behind me, no one else was about!
I breathed a sigh of relief, it finally was over!
I turned and exited through the back gate…
I approached the curve that lined the parking lot when from another path off to the side I suddenly saw a shadow emerge, detaching itself from behind a tree.
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At the same instant, I was made aware of the sound of a quick swish of something silky, and before I could turn about, a very feminine set of fingers gently grasped my arm.
For the briefest part of a second, my mind pictured the young lass in sky blue, the one whose diamond necklace had been lifted as a result of my wager.
My ears met with a soft voice speaking in a lilting Irish accent, whispering cheerily behind me.
“Ta, my love, I’m here!”
I turned and looked again into those rapturing hazel eyes, prettily magnified by her heavy black glasses.
“Ta, here you are indeed !”
I enthusiastically agreed, and pulled her up against me, hugging into her sweet figure, my hands , openly this time, relishing in the splendid feel of her luxuriously soft, shimmery green satin gown, and the warm cuddling figure it encased!!
“Apparently, some turd stole me necklace while we danced !”
she whispered this playfully in my ear…
“ ‘ere now! By chance would ya know who the jester was laddie?!”
We broke apart, and as she stood there facing me with a rather smugly coy look about her, one hand on her chest, the other playing along her gown’s barren neckline. I gave her ravishing figure a quick once over before my eyes finally coming to rest once again on the empty neckline of her shiny green coloured gown.
“Indeed, I do “ I admitted, patting me tux outer pocket!
She gazed at me as I admitted my sin, a rather lusting look I knew, and melted for over oh so many times past!
Nice to know that feelings were still strong between us: after a five-year partnership before being married, and now a full 10 years vehemently lost in wedded bliss.
And what a lovely bride she had been… and still is for all that matters….!
I think her thoughts were going on about the same lines as mine, and may have led to us being rather a bit naughty right there an then under the witch elm tree that grew on the green lawn that separated the gardens from the parking lot!…. But!
But, shaking our heads clear in unison, we both turned back to peek into the still empty gardens…
Then we looked at each other directly in the eyes, and chuckling out loud together, proclaimed in sync…
“Let’s get going!”
We forthwith went to the auto, and I helped her slid onto the left side leather passenger inside our small, but quite fast, red coloured touring convertible.
Once she had slithered down, pulled in the loose ends of her long green gown, and nestled into the warm black leather of the seat, I closed her door.
I then promptly hopped in on the right, and fired up the engine into roaring life , and pulled off, leaving the place agreeably, as they say in the olde B.W. movies, in our dust…
About a mile down the road I looked up in the rear mirror, no one was following, but then, really why should they?
Though I was sure that by now there was some unsettling commotion going on back amongst several of the guests at the party we had both so recently left, there was really no way they could have logically connected me, or my wife, to any of it!
Suspicions, of course, maybe raised, but no one there knew enough about either of us to track down and ask!
With that thought in my head, I glanced over at my wife, saying rather with a cheeky tone of voice…
“Luv, we may actually have gotten away with this one!”
I saw my wife winningly smile as she pulled herself from what looked like deep thoughts, not breaking her gaze from the curving road ahead.
I stole another glance down at her clasped hands holding closed over an unseen object tightly within…
Catching my eye, she tenderly chided…
“Hush now dear husband, don’t go ‘an spoil this lucky find we worked so hard to acquire.”
At which point she opened her clasped hands so we could both have a look!
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I’ll end the chapter here for a bit of a mystery, though I am sure that anyone reading up to this point suspects all too well what we had come away from the party with 😉
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Chapter 9
Skipping Class, not for a smoke either!
My Wife’s green satin gloved hands, which had been clasped closed upon her gown’s shiny lap, were now opened a little and I peaked at the wild glistening of the 3 tiered bibbed necklace of quite genuine diamonds that lay nestled in her gloved palms.
Whistling, I asked…“I assume that those came from the gent’s tux pocket ?”
“ Quite she said, and a rather easy pick it twas , muggy bumping into me like he did!”, “ Rather a rude ‘un wasn’t he!”
She straightening her glasses in remembrance.
I chuckled in the memory of just how annoying the bloke had been, then said…
“Yes, most certainly was, rude, the self-centered wealthy young twit! Absolutely agree on that subject my love!!…plus the bugger smelled of something rude! ”
My eyes on the road, as I said this, I swerved to miss a clump of a cow’s by-product on the road, then continued on…
“It was a good plan! Played out just as you said it would! Sorry I doubted you!”
My wife, and partner in crime, smiled as I glanced over to her…
“Happy out!
When you first pointed out her diamonds, I knew that the spoiled missy’s necklace was the best take there by far of the other jewels stingingly being worn by any of the other ladies! And Bob’s me, uncle if those weren’t her maters anyways! “
I shook my head….
“Umm, possibly a bit too modern a setting for her mother, maybe a filthy rich admirer behind the curtains, so to speak…judging by the friendship ring she was flaunting about under everyone’s nose?”
My wife was still smiling, studying the brite necklace as it lay piled in her palm, a nice contrast, flickering diamonds on a green satin bed!…
Me pretty wife went on…
“Could be luv… but moer’ in likely ah disgustingly rich one than filthy he would be at that, judging by the quality of these diamonds she was wearing so flagrantly. One could see that without a jewelers’ microscope!”
“But, of course, the fly in the ointment, was missey’s shadowing brother, watching her like a hawk from that barstool! The poor thing couldn’t enjoy herself properly, let alone wander off anywhere alone where a person like m’self could be expected to acquire a bit of them jewels in a proper fashion!!”
My eyes back on the road, I nodded in agreement, then with a sigh, I said…
“Yes and we both saw she wasn’t drinking and didn’t appear to be needing to use a powder room…”
“So we met up in that secluded side court to hold council, and agreed it was all up to me!”
She looked over at me, rather meekly…
“So, what better way than to have her brother take them, and obligingly deliver them to us?”
I sighed again, for dramatic reasons…
“ I know luv… at first, I was against the idea, especially since it placed me in the spotlight!”
Turning my eyes from the road, I gave both her, and the necklace she held, a brief, but warming, glance!
Then continued on…
”You, after all my lovely one, are the actress and pickpocket in the family!”
My wife laid a softly gloved hand upon my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze…
“ I was knowin you could do it luv, and the gambit was well worth its outcome if successful, which so far, it has!”
I chuckled…
“And it only cost us a mere £220!
I said this with triumph, for we both knew what the value of those diamonds would represent against a normal fortnight’s work to the year’s family income!”
My wife lowered her hand from my arm and laying it on my lap, squeezed my leg quite in a happy fashion.
As I, and the family jewels, both perked up at this, she snickered and commented….
“I think we are done for the weekend my luv, perhaps we should head on towards for home now, I think that I can ‘feel’ that you may be in agreement? “
Smiling outwardly at her words, I had to ask, half curious…
“What about the black-tie tomorrow night at the Regents’ castle then Luv?”
I was referring to the rest of our plans for the outing.
“Could collect a few gems other than diamonds to come home with on Monday?”
I was maybe a wee bit disappointed, which she knew by my next question…
“And I thought you still were a wanting the opportunity to play out the ‘Damsel in Distress’ routine we’ve been working on and had been originally planning on trying out today?”
I stole over a glance as I said this, half hoping I could change her mind and she would be game for it!
She slipped her arm in mine and drawing her sweet self-close to me murmuring, purposefully deepening her rich Irish brogue, purred…
”I think we have done a rather good bit of business for this trip laddie!”
As my wife, nestled up against me she looked up into my eyes before continuing …
I was smiling, for as she had moved, my ears caught the distinctly pleasant sound of rich thicke satin slithering along with fine leather! A rather richly provocative sound, to me, anyway!
Needless to say, my attention was now taken as my wife spoke on in her persuading fashion…
“Not often we have a big score this early! And its more ‘in enough, husband of mine, that we can afford to skip over the other things for now? New routines can wait, Don’t’cha agree wit me now m’ lad?”
She ended with a hopeful beckoning sort of look, a winning weapon that most wives are quite adept at using from their wily arsenal of emotional tugs….
I automatically smiled, never being one to resist that type of lure….
She saw that I was in agreement with my grinning face…
“That’s it then, I can see you agree! Darling, on Home to Badger’s Drift it is now!”
“And If you be want’in any more jewels stolen, you can continue to practice on me tonight!”
She had leaned up and over, as she whispered cheekily, her lustily breath tickling my ear while a long jeweled earring intentionally was allowed to hit me alongside a cheek.…the same cheek she than pecked a kiss upon!!!
Mission accomplished, She broke away and happily settled back into her seat as my voice finally found it’s tongue!
“ OK, Let’s not press our luck on, correct me, fine lass!”
I stated this in absolute agreement…and, feeling a familiar tingling start down between my legs, responded by letting my foot push the accelerator, causing the purring old engine to rev it up and add a bit of speed to our journey!
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Up Last
Chapter 10
Homework Prep
The car jumped in acceleration, I heard my wife beside me exhale a long, deep breath while reaching up and pulling down the visor and glanced at herself into the mirror.
I then heard her murmur.
”Have a watch for passer-byes willa Luv?”
From the corner of my eye, I saw her gently lift the diamonded necklace and carefully fasten it around her throat, letting it dangle down, whilst both of us then admired the rather dazzling, quite eye-catching results.
In a far off, wistful voice she said…
“I guess I do now feel it’s a bit of a waste to have bothered being this dressed up for an evening and not stopping anywhere else?”
I felt a sudden rise as I anticipated where her thoughts may be leading upon at the moment “
“ Ya know my love, we are going to be passing that muggy little bar on the wharf, the one we had a stop in on our last excursion, and…”
She let her voice trail off, and I knew it was for me to continue.
“Care to stop in again for a final drink on our way home?”
“And you can minx the natives with your finery, plus I am feeling a bit peckish..?… Sounds like a plan me dearest!?”
I asked with a wholehearted voice of agreement
She answered whilst still watching the reflection of the diamonds in the newly acquired necklace she was now wearing. The buggers were certainly screaming out their flickering brilliance in the mirror…
“Indeed sir, stop in for a bit of sup, a nip, then you can have a pull at your pipe and tell me how pretty I look!”
I chuckled while adding to her statement…
“A Jewel in the rough indeed you will be in there amongst the sometimes rather dicey patrons at the Poet and the Peasant Pub!”
Brilliant she said, leaning into me, her head gently resting on my chest, giving me an eyeful to look down upon! My eyes took a quick journey along the front of her rather perked features, tightly outlined by the green satin gown, as she grasped my arm!
My eyes also took in the emblazoned diamonds dripping down from her throat, wincing at the brilliant fiery sparkles of the magnificent necklace!
From a distance, they had stood out exquisitely from around the lass in blue’s throat, but up this close, they were almost too bloody blinding of an affair!
I knew full well along what lines my wife was half fancifully conniving up deep in her desires… And wearing that squinty necklace out into that pub was at the center of them!!
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I chuckled, knowing we both knew it would be a folly on, oh so many levels, to flaunt about any jewels we had managed to ‘acquire’ in such devious ways whilst out and about on our occasional jaunts we made into the public realm for such related purposes..!”
But I decided to make sure by saying…
“But you know luv, best not wear those diamonds around your throat into a waterfront pub, or anywhere else for that matter!
She was disappointed, but still said teasingly…
“Righto party pooper!”
Then added, lying through her pretty while teeth…!
“ I really wasn’t planning on wearin the pretty things, just joking really…!”
Breaking away she again slipped back into her seat, with a deep sigh of remembrance, before contemplating somberly with a shiver…
“Remember luv? That bloody party we went to for fun instead of working it over.
There we were, you in a tux, me in my best taffeta gown and real diamonds, enjoying ourselves for once… and in the course, letting our bloody guards down!
She took a long sigh, then continued, almost snarling out her words…
“Then go and ending that evening, while admittedly a bit tipsy, and certainly gullibly dressed up in my finest, only to meet that puppy sad-looking lass in the loo! Then while we were both in there, buying into her sob story!…
Then letting her lure me out alone by acting the good Samaritan to help her…!”
I could sense my wife gritting her teeth as she spits out the last bit…
“Then grabbed, waylaid and stripped of everything in a back alleyway by her thievin ruffian friends!!!” Well, I will agree, allowing that to happen once in me life was enough I’ll tell you that!”.
With a shudder, my now wretched-looking wife took in a deep breath after that outburst, then relaxing her expression, said in a more easy-going manner…
“Just say’n your quite right luv…! A second time may spoil the currant mood a bit anyhow, not to mention the loss of these pretties you worked so hard for, husband of mine!!”
(If anyone would like me to post the full separate story of how the back alley thievery event occurred, described briefly above, please let me know in the comments!)
Out of the corner of an eye, I had watched her unhappily undo the fiery necklace and place it back into her smooth lap, and then, as she still spoke, opening our car’s glove case.
My wife reached in and popped open a small secret panel in the back. Pulling out a small, thin black velvet pouch, she carefully poured the sparkling necklace inside…
Then she pulled off her earrings, bracelet and rings…placing them inside also.
Then placed the now plump pouch back inside the hidden niche, and securely closed the secret panel. I heard her give a long sigh unhappily as she did so….. and knew her mind was heading into a darker corner of past experiences…
She patted my pocket which still held her necklace…
“Keep my emeralds safe then for me love!?”
Then she sighed…
“So tis agreed all around then! Stopping at the Poet and the Peasant pub for supper and a nipper, then it is off home to the Drift we go !“
Her mood shifting back, she exclaimed this part merrily!
Then she sighed happily while pulling off the owlish glasses she had been disguisedly wearing from their, perch and carelessly flipped them into the back-jump seat.
Then, reaching up into her hair, undid her matching twin emerald clips (placing them with a smirk into my jackets pocket), and pulled off her shoulder-length black wig, allowing her longish hair, the natural colour of sunset cerise, to freely cascade down from its long-held, tight bindings of a bun… The long black wig soon joined in the back with the discarded glasses.
She then nestled comfortably back into her seat, once again giving my ears a treat from the sounds of her gown slithering against leather, she exclaimed!
“Lead on, Macduff!”
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We sped off, soon putting many miles between us and the soon to be quite surprised, rather mangy cigarette slobbering, empty pocketed blighter!
The snarky brother to the now str
Posted by Cadence and Craig Abbot Creative Photography on 2019-08-17 17:20:09
Tagged: , dress , wedding , reception , satin , silk , jewellery , diamonds , rubies , emeralds , mystery , ironic , pipe , smoking , wallet , lift , jewels , ominious , ominous , peril , gullible , tie , suit , tux , formal
