A lot of people ask, “What does it mean to get in your own way?”
I glare at them like they’re from another planet.
How can you not know? It’s like slamming a door and then trying to walk through it.
As I’ve gotten older, I know better. I’ve learned not to act impulsively. I “play it through to the credits.” I’ve got experience, wisdom, the receipts – and a long memory.
And most days? I do better.
Then Came the 40-Pound Bag of Dog Food
Let me break this down: a 40-pound bag of kibble equals about 160 cups. That’s 4 cups per pound. Each cup? Roughly 208 pieces of kibble. I Googled the first part. The 208? I used AI – Audacious Ilene – to count them one by one.
That’s 33,280 pieces of kibble.
How did this become how I spent my leisurely morning?
It started, of course, with avoiding the things I didn’t want to do – taxes, phone calls, real responsibilities. And that giant bag of dog food had been sitting by the door for a week, waiting to be carried to the basement.
I decided to play “airport.” You know, like a baggage handler. I clipped the top shut with a giant binder clip, angled the bag down the stairs, gave it a push… and watched it fly.
Almost Made It. Almost.
Four steps from the bottom, the bag snagged. In slow motion, the clip popped off. A kibble waterfall began.
Down the steps.
Through the gaps.
Into the pile of luggage, CDs, canvas bags, and boxes under the stairs I haven’t unpacked in eight years.
First, I was frozen, just watching the kibble drip, drip, drip. Then I sprang into action – a generous description, as I couldn’t move faster than quarter-speed. I descended, trying to lift the bag and stop the downpour like I was catching a boiling pot with bare hands.
The damage? Half the bag.
That’s 16,640 pieces of kibble.
Yes, I did the math. Then, I considered whether the dog could eat it off the floor. (He drinks mud and eats leaves, after all.) And yes, I decided it was fine.
Still, there I was – two hours later, still cleaning up and muttering: “Why did I do that?”
Being in My Own Way
That question is a constant refrain of mine. I want to leave it behind. I do. But it seems wired into my DNA. It’s not just a quirk. It’s a pattern.
Tiny ways I say no to myself when I mean yes. That’s what getting in your own way really looks like. It’s not sabotage with fireworks. It’s a slow, rolling kibble spill under the stairs.
So, I started thinking: What would it take to rewire myself? How do I stop setting traps for “Future Me” to deal with? Because it’s always me doing the trapping to me.
Here’s a list of the traps I fall into again and again:
1. Over-Shopping Produce
I always buy too many fruits and vegetables. Always.
It starts with good intentions: I’m going to juice. I need cucumbers, apples, celery. I see string beans and think, I’ll roast those with garlic and lemon! I grab bananas and two pints of strawberries because this week – this week – I’ll make smoothies. And those tiny bags of avocadoes, they are so cute, I cannot resist.
Fast-forward five days:
- The bananas are mushy and brown.
- The apples are bruised and wrinkled.
- The green beans are dissolving and getting moldy.
- The avocadoes are dimpling.
I never resist the fantasy that I’m the kind of person who juliennes carrots and keeps cilantro alive. Spoiler: I’m not.
I’ve gotten better. I toss what’s rotten (without crying), gift cute mini avocados to my neighbor, and when I’m really on top of it, I cook and freeze. Still, a work in progress.
2. Avoiding Exercise
Every Sunday, I make a reasonable plan.
Monday: Dog Walk.
Tuesday: Cardio.
Wednesday: …bargaining begins. By then, I’m telling myself, I already did Monday and Tuesday. Maybe today I’ll just stretch while watching TV? Which becomes me lying on the floor, scrolling my phone, with a resistance band around one ankle like a tragic yoga hostage.
I have the sneakers. The mat. The subscription.
What I don’t have is the will to overcome inertia.
And somehow, sitting still while feeling guilty about not moving is the most exhausting workout of all.
The antidote? Get it on the outside. I’ve learned that if I don’t get in the car, go to the gym, or do Zumba with a friend, it won’t happen. Once I get there, I’m always glad I showed up.
(Especially for post-class coffee.)
3. Procrastinating Difficult Calls
There’s a voicemail that’s been mocking me for 11 days.
I know exactly what it’s about.
But instead of returning the call, I’ve deep-cleaned the junk drawer, reorganized the bookshelf, and deep-conditioned my hair. Twice.
I keep thinking, I’ll be in the mood to deal with that tomorrow.
But tomorrow turns into next week. And suddenly, I’m dodging someone who wasn’t mad until I started avoiding them. Then I call and say, “Just saw your message!” and pray they don’t hear the panic in my voice.
I’m learning to triage:
Am I avoiding this because I feel guilty? Ashamed?
Is it fear or just discomfort?
Awareness helps.
Not always. But it helps.
4. Defrosting Meat I’ll Never Cook
This one’s personal.
I start with a vision: Tonight, I’ll cook something real.
I pull out a beautiful cut of meat. Picture the sides, the candles, the mood.
Then life happens. I work late. I get tired. I eat cereal.
Meanwhile, the meat – now fully thawed and judging me from the fridge – edges from “meal prep” into “biohazard.”
I shove it to the back. I pretend I’ll cook it tomorrow.
Three days later: shame toss into the trash.
The cycle repeats.
Because the vision of what could be always beats the reality of what actually is.
What’s Next?
The goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to catch myself before I pull the same old stunt. Because there’s a difference between learning and rewiring.
I know better. I’m just trying to do better.
One kibble at a time.
Also read, Do You Get in Your Own Way? I Sure Do!
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What is one thing you catch yourself doing over and over, even though you know it’s not good for you?
