Purity culture. The more Christians begin deconstructing their religious beliefs—often ones imposed upon them as children—the more the subject surfaces. Below, I’ve picked out eight eye-opening memoirs exploring the damage of purity culture.
It began as an Evangelical Christian movement in the 1990s. Those of us who grew up in its shadow remember True Love Waits pledges and purity balls. Having sex before marriage meant being compared to random, “dirty” objects—such as used cars and lint-covered lollipops.
Elizabeth Smart, who was kidnapped for nine months and raped repeatedly at age 14, excoriated purity culture back in 2013. “After that first rape,” Smart said, “I felt crushed. Who could want me now? I felt so dirty and so filthy. I understand so easily all too well why someone wouldn’t run because of that alone.” Smart details this experience and more in her 2014 memoir, My Story.
Although not all of the purity culture memoirs on the list below come from Evangelical Christian authors, the vast majority detail white women’s experiences. I’d love to see more memoirs exploring the damage of purity culture in the Black church, in the vein of Confessions of an Alleged Good Girl by Joya Goffney, Sensual Faith: The Art of Coming Home to Your Body by Lyvonne Briggs, and Sexuality and the Black Church: A Womanist Perspective by Kelly Brown Douglas.
Below, find eight memoirs exploring the damage of purity culture in the Evangelical Church and beyond.
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Memoirs Exploring the Damage of Purity Culture
On Her Knees: Memoir of a Prayerful Jezebel by Brenda Marie Davies
“My Christianity depended on purity,” writes Brenda Marie Davies. Tracing her twenties in L.A., Davies’s memoir examines whether a Christian life is possible without the threat of sexual contamination. As such, this read is perfect for deconstructing Evangelicals who aren’t ready to leave the faith entirely.
Wayward: A Memoir of Spiritual Warfare and Sexual Purity by Alice Greczyn
This memoir describes a childhood of homelessness, followed by her parents’ decision to pull up stakes and trust in the Lord to provide for them and their five children. Here, Sex Drive actress Alice Greczyn recounts the damage her Evangelical upbringing caused, beginning with her suicidal ideations at age 13.
Finding Sunlight: A Coming-of-Age Memoir about Love within the Wreckage of Purity Culture by Chrissy Holm
Chrissy Holm’s memoir of growing up bisexual as a conservative Christian pastor’s kid is sure to resonate. Billed as “more [of] a triumphant love memoir than a religious trauma book,” Finding Sunlight is an uplifting and raw must-read for LGBTQIA+ Christians and those who have left the faith.
Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free by Linda Kay Klein
If you’re searching for a seminal text on purity culture in the Evangelical Church, look no further. Linda Kay Klein lays bare the shame and guilt associated with the movement. Pure chronicles Klein’s 12-year odyssey to make sense of purity culture after her church’s youth pastor was convicted of sex crimes against a preteen.
Facing the Music: My Story by Jennifer Knapp
Jennifer Knapp left the Christian music industry at the height of her career. When she later came out as a lesbian in 2010, she faced former fans who were convinced she’d deserted the church and everything she once stood for. In Facing the Music, Knapp makes an argument for LGBTQIA+ Christianity—one readers both straight and queer would do well to listen to.
How to Say Babylon by Safiya Sinclair
One of two non-Christian titles on this list, Safiya Sinclair’s National Book Critics Circle Award-winning book traces the poet’s childhood and young adulthood under her overbearing father’s thumb. His strict rules—”no make-up, no jewelry, no opinions, no friends”—turned Sinclair’s Jamaican household into something more like prison. Poetry helped her escape, and she brings that lyricism to bear here.
Cartwheels in a Sari: A Memoir of Growing Up Cult by Jayanti Tamm
The Guru Sri Chinmoy proclaimed himself to be a god. He banned outside media and sex by decree. He told Jayanti Tamm she was the “Chosen One.” But when the pressure of being perfect led Tamm to attempt suicide, she ultimately made the difficult decision to cut ties with the only community she’d ever known.
Rift: A Memoir of Breaking Away From Christian Patriarchy by Cait West
Dealing with the weighty subject of abuse in the Christian Church, Cait West’s memoir is not for the faint of heart. Here, West explores the stay-at-home daughter movement and its damaging effects on the lives of women and girls throughout the Evangelical community.
For more memoirs and other books exploring religious themes, check out these two lists of must-reads: books about Christianity and books about life in cults.
