Hi Everyone, Long time Lurker – First time poster
I’m hoping to get some advice or hear from others who may have been through something similar.
For context, I’ve worked for my city for nearly 26 years and currently sit about midway up the department’s leadership structure. In November 2024, I was assigned a new interim supervisor, who was then made permanent in November 2025. Unfortunately, this transition coincided with a major personal crisis: my mother suffered a traumatic brain injury in November 2024, and for a significant period of time I was her primary caregiver. For much of the past year, I’ve essentially been juggling two full-time jobs.
In November, I received a memo of correction citing insubordination, lack of attention to detail, defensiveness when given feedback, a negative attitude, failure to maintain a solution-focused approach, and non-adherence to policy. I accepted the correction, acknowledged that I haven’t been at my best, and committed to improving. Because my midpoint review occurred immediately after the memo, I did not meet expectations.
The day before the Christmas holiday, I was placed on a “Decision Making Leave,” which required me to take a day off to reflect on my actions and submit an action plan to our department director outlining how I would move forward.
I’ve been in a near-constant state of panic since then. I believe I submitted a strong and thoughtful action plan, but I’m struggling with the fact that much of the feedback feels subjective and heavily tied to a single incident that occurred back in October.
I’m not eager—or frankly well-positioned—to start over somewhere else. I’m 50 years old and fully vested for retirement in four years, and until recently I had a long, stable work history with this organization.
Has anyone experienced something similar later in their career? How did you recover professionally and emotionally? Any insight or perspective would be greatly appreciated.
