Inner Child Therapy can be used to help clients connect to the child that they once were. It is not uncommon for us to lose a connection with this part of us as we age. This therapeutic approach is used to help clients free their inner child parts that are tied to unhealthy emotional and behavioral patterns. Keep reading to learn 75 inner child questions you can ask your clients in sessions.
This can be an impactful approach to use as you may find that your clients have more compassion and patience if they envision themselves talking to a child compared to an adult. Clients often find it empowering to have the opportunity to nurture and heal aspects of themselves that are tied to their childhood. In most cases, automatic thoughts can be traced back to early childhood experiences. Clients may find that the beliefs they have about themselves, others, and the world that originated in childhood contribute to their mental health concerns.
There are several mental health concerns and disorders that can benefit from inner child therapy. This can include anxiety, depression, substance misuse, self-harm behaviors, disordered eating behaviors, low self-esteem, and in some traumatic experiences. Inner child therapy can be used in addition to other therapies and interventions for comprehensive care. Treatment can help your client increase awareness of how their unmet needs during childhood impact their current symptoms. They may also gain skills that improve emotion regulation and resilience.
Getting Ready for Your First Inner Child Session with a New Client
When you’re preparing to meet with your client for their first inner child therapy session, we encourage you to spend time reviewing the documentation that you have received so far. This can include referral paperwork, self-assessments, and in some cases, comprehensive assessments completed by colleagues.
Your first session will focus on building therapeutic rapport and understanding their presenting concerns and goals for treatment. You can use your time to introduce your client to inner child therapy and help them see how this approach could support their recovery. You may also find it helpful to organize resources before your session that could easily be incorporated into your work. This can include a range of customizable worksheets available with TherapyByPro. We encourage you to review available worksheets, including:
What Inner Child Questions Should I Ask In Sessions?
Inner child work questions can be tailored to your client and their presenting concern. You may find yourself focusing on a specific time in their life or an event that they experienced. This can include core memories, safety, needs, boundaries, parent-child dynamics, play, trauma, and abuse. Examples of inner child questions that you can incorporate into your sessions include:
- Can you tell me about your earliest childhood memory?
- Is there a memory about your childhood that feels the strongest for you?
- How would you describe yourself as a child?
- Can you tell me about your favorite activity or hobby as a child?
- Is there someone you had in your life who made you feel seen and heard as a child?
- How would you describe your relationship with your parents/guardians/caregivers?
- Did you have a comfort item as a child, like a blanket or stuffed animal?
- Did you feel safe to cry openly as a child?
- What were your experiences with anger?
- Was there someone in your life whom you would turn to for comfort?
- Was there someone in your life who made you feel as though you needed to hide your feelings?
- What were some of the coping skills that you used as a child?
- Would you say that your basic needs were continually met? This includes things like having food, shelter, and love.
- Do you feel as though you were emotionally cared for?
- Can you think of a need that was unmet in childhood? Even if it was fulfilled sometimes?
- Who showed up for you when you needed support?
- Was there anyone in your life who did not show up for you?
- How did the adult in your life respond when you were scared or sick?
- Was there a form of affection that you wanted more of, that you didn’t receive?
- Would you say that you were encouraged to ask for help when you needed it?
- Did you feel safe to say no as a child?
- Would you say that the adults in your life respected your boundaries growing up?
- Can you tell me what privacy looked like for you as a child?
- Did you feel like your opinions were taken into consideration for decisions that affected you?
- Can you tell me about what helped you learn right from wrong?
- Do you feel as though you were able to be yourself as a child, or were you pressured to fit into a mold?
- Can you tell me about what independence looked like in your family?
- How did your family perceive differences in each other?
- Were you ever told to “go along with it” when something didn’t feel right for you?
- Did you feel like you had control over your body? Things like what you could wear, how your hair was done, etc.
- Was there something that you felt criticized for, often growing up?
- Do you feel like you were compared to other kids? Like siblings, cousins, or friends?
- Did you ever feel like you were “too much” or “not enough”?
- What were some of the beliefs that you had about yourself back then?
- Do you feel like you only received praise when you accomplished something?
- How was failure handled growing up?
- Did you feel safe to make mistakes?
- Do you remember feeling like you had to be perfect?
- Was there a time when you felt as though you were a burden to those around you?
- Did you feel close emotionally to your parents/guardians/caregivers?
- Did the adults in your life apologize to you when they were wrong or made a mistake?
- Do you feel as though the adults in your life modeled healthy relationships?
- Looking back now, do you feel as though the adults in your life utilized healthy coping skills for their own emotions?
- Did you feel protected as a child?
- Do you feel as though the adults in your life were emotionally available to you when you needed them to be?
- Did you ever feel as though you needed to try and “fix” wrong things?
- Can you tell me about what made you laugh as a child?
- What are some of the strongest memories you have about playing as a child?
- Was there a particular game or book that you enjoyed?
- How did you use your imagination?
- Were you creative as a child?
- Do you enjoy some of the same activities and hobbies now?
- Was there anything that you experienced as a child that was overwhelming to you?
- Was there a time in your childhood when you were bullied or mistreated by peers?
- Did you experience any significant losses or separations during childhood that had a strong impact on you?
- Was there a time when someone violated your trust or safety?
- Who disappointed you the most in your childhood?
- Has there been a time in your life when you experienced abuse or neglect?
- Have you ever felt as though your world was turned upside down?
- Do you feel that the punishments you received as a child were fair?
- Can you tell me what being “strong” looked like as a child?
- Were there any secrets you had as a child?
- Can you tell me about childhood wounds that are still unresolved?
- What would it be like for you to now provide comfort to the child within you?
- What do you think the child in you would want you to do for fun?
- What would healing your inner child look like?
- Is there a part of your childhood that you would like to relive?
- What would unconditional love have looked like when you were a child?
- Can you think of a small change or action that you can take to nurture your child within?
- How do you think that your childhood affects your experiences today?
- Can you tell me how you handle vulnerability today?
- Is there a part of your inner child that sneaks into your adult decisions?
- Can you tell me about how you judge yourself as an adult?
- How would healing your inner child affect your future?
- Can you tell me who in your life supports you?
Final Thoughts On Asking the Right Inner Child Work Questions in Sessions
We hope this article has helped you think about questions to ask your inner child or questions you can incorporate into your clinical questions. Inner child therapy is a valuable mental health approach, especially in trauma-informed settings. With proper use, you can help your clients heal unresolved childhood wounds, increase their self-awareness, and increase their self-compassion. Clients may also find that they’re better able to regulate their emotions and strengthen attachments within their current relationships.
This approach can be used in addition to Internal Family Systems (IFS), Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy, Somatic Experiences, and Body-Centered Therapies. If you would like to learn more about incorporating inner child therapy into your work, we encourage you to explore available training and continuing education opportunities within your niche.
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