Mom Gets Harsh Note From Daycare After First Late Pick-Up

It’s so common to have nightmares about forgetting your kid — in the car, at baseball practice, and at daycare. No matter how much we love and protect our children, mistakes happen, time gets away from you, or you get your huge list of dates and responsibilities mixed up.

On the other hand, daycare workers are often over-worked and under-paid, and a forgotten kid may mean a 12-hour work day or missing their own kid’s pick-up.

This week on Reddit, a mom headed to the Parenting sub-forum to ask if her friend had been treated too harshly by her kid’s daycare director.

The friend was an hour late picking up, because her co-parent/ex-husband did not show. She works as a labor and delivery nurse 45 minutes away and got there as quickly as she could. She and her family has also been going to this daycare for years without having any similar late pick-ups.

The note read in its entirety:

“The late pick up on Friday had me concerned. [Staff member] worked 7:00-7:00 because your children could not get picked up. Your family may not be able to stay enrolled here. I hope you set alarms on your phone to not forget your children.”

The poster adds that she was also fined $90 for being late, and they called her, not him, to do the pick-up.

“I’m specifically interested in everyone’s insights on the tone and delivery of the message,” the poster writes.

Down in the comments, parents couldn’t agree on if the note was professional or not…

Many comments thought that being an entire hour late was pretty egregious.

“I don’t think the director’s message was professional, but how late was your friend? Was she a whole hour late?? If it was that long, she’s lucky daycare didn’t call the cops,” one popular comment read.

“An hour late is incredibly significantly late and almost every day care I’ve ever encountered has very strict rules as to when CPS will be called and typically it’s sooner than an hour,” another agreed. “They also typically charge a significant amount per 15 minutes after the pick up time and most daycares are not open past 6 PM in my area.”

On the other hand, an educator and director thought that the message was unprofessional.

“Educator and Assistant Director here. The only thing the director should be doing, if at all, is asking if there is a reliable emergency contact that can be utilized in situations like this moving forward,” they wrote. “It was not their day for collection, nor their responsibility. The director and staff would be aware of this if the family circumstances had been shared with them before the child enrolled, or whenever this separation occurred. What they may not be aware of is the mother’s shift time and travel distance from work to care (unless this information has been shared). Despite that, it does not give permissible grounds for an unprofessional message.”

Good points.

A number of people said that the mom should have a plan in place for when the ex is unreliable (although it’s important to point out how once again, moms get blamed for and are responsible for even the mistakes of their co-parents).

“Given the context of ex-husband not picking up the kid and daycare having to call mom, mom needs to find alternative people who can be trusted to pick up kid if this happens ago,” one wrote.

Finally, someone pointed out that the daycare probably has to be this stern to prevent parents taking advantage of their workers on a regular basis.

“They are dealing with multiple families on a daily basis…this sounds like a precautionary charge to keep people on time, can’t blame them at all,” they wrote.