Being denied access to your child can be one of the most difficult and emotional experiences a parent can face. Whether the breakdown in contact is recent or ongoing. It is important to remember that you’re not alone. There are clear legal steps you can take. In UK family law, your legal position is stronger than you may think. Especially when the children’s best interests are at the heart of your actions.
Below are six steps you can follow to address the situation. We share how to handle things calmly, legally, and effectively. While keeping your child’s welfare as the top priority.
1. Your Legal Position as a Parent
It’s often misunderstood that one parent has an automatic right to all aspects of child arrangements. If you are named on the birth certificate, you likely have parental responsibility (PR). This is usually where the confusion with dad’s comes in. This gives you the legal right to be involved in your child’s upbringing. That includes direct contact. Decision-making about schooling and medical care. It also covers indirect contact if face-to-face time isn’t possible.
If your ex-partner is preventing contact without a valid legal reason, they may be acting unlawfully.
2. Communicate Calmly and Clearly
In some cases if you are denied access to your child, your former partner may be acting out of confusion, hurt, or anger—rather than outright malice. If safe, try to open lines of communication. Consider sending a letter or email that puts your concerns and perspective across. Show willingness to work out child contact on fair and practical terms.
This is not about winning an argument. It’s about being constructive and keeping your child out of conflict. Avoid accusations and keep the point of view focused on the child’s wellbeing. Not past relationship issues. es.
3. Explore Mediation and Your MIAM
If personal attempts fail, mediation is a proven way to move forward. Involving a neutral third-party mediator, you and your ex can discuss contact arrangements. Including indirect and direct contact, holiday schedules, or dates like Christmas.
A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is often the first legal step. Mediation encourages resolution without the stress of court proceedings. Keeping control in your hands rather than a judge’s. It’s often less emotionally damaging for the child.
If the risk of harm or domestic abuse is involved mediation may not be suitable. If so you may be exempt from attending a MIAM. Speak to Aspire family mediators to explore whether that exemption applies to you.
4. Apply for a Child Arrangements Order in the UK
If mediation doesn’t work and you are still being denied access to your child, the next step is to apply to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order. This legally binding document outlines when and how you’ll see your child. It can include terms for both direct and indirect contact.
During the court hearing, the judge will always consider the child’s welfare first. The court may involve CAFCASS to evaluate the family dynamics. They may recommend suitable contact arrangements.
This isn’t about your needs or your ex-partner’s views. It’s about what plans will support the children’s best interests.
5. Keep Evidence and Documentation
If you’re being denied access to your child repeatedly, start keeping evidence. Save texts, emails, or notes of missed visits and responses from your ex. Record your efforts to resolve things peacefully and show a willingness to co-parent.
This paper trail can support your court application. It demonstrates your consistent effort for regular contact. As well as the other party’s potential non-cooperation.
6. Do I Need A Solicitor?
Navigating family law matters can be complicated, especially when emotions are running high. Getting professional legal advice from a mediator will help you understand your options clearly. They can explain the difference between a specific issue order, a child arrangements order, or a parental responsibility agreement. This will help you make the right legal action.
You may also be entitled to legal aid.We can offer a free consultation to assess your case.
FAQs – Steps to take if you are denied access to your child
Can my ex just stop me from seeing my child?
No. Unless there is a court order preventing contact. For reasons such as domestic abuse or risk of harm for example. Your ex cannot deny you access. Even if they believe they are the sole regular carer. Every parent has joint right to access if you share parental responsibility. You have a right to be involved in your child’s life.
What if the child doesn’t want to see me?
If the child does not want to see one parent. Forcing access can be difficult. The courts may take a child’s views into account, depending on age and maturity. They still assess whether the contact arrangements are in the child’s best interests. If there is an issue where you are forcing your child to see you child inclusive mediation may be a solution. This gives children a chance to have their voice heard. To find out what is best for them. It allows them to talk to a neutral mediator about their feelings and for you to understand how you can parent for their needs and not your wants.
Should I Involve The Police?
The police usually won’t enforce child contact arrangements if you are being denied access to your child. Unless there’s a court order in place that is being broken. In most cases, this is a family law matter, not a criminal one. You will likely be advised to attend a MIAM as a start.
This will lead potentially to having to return to court to have the CAO revised or reviewed.
Conclusion
Being denied access to your child is heartbreaking. However you do not have to accept it as permanent. There is a solution and a pathway. From mediation to formal court orders. You have legal paths to re-establish a healthy relationship with your child.
Remember: the last resort doesn’t have to be the first step. Start by staying calm, getting advice, and documenting everything. Your goal is to ensure your child grows up knowing both parents love and support them. That their well being always comes first. Don’t allow your emotions to cloud the facts and the way you parent.
Need advice now? Want to know what to do when you have been denied access to your child? Reach out to a Aspire Family Mediation for a free consultation. Let us help you get the clarity you need to move forward with confidence.
