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<\/div>\n<\/p>\n Soon after my youngest turned five, he set something into motion that nurtured his emotional wellbeing in a powerful way, although I didn\u2019t realize it at the time.<\/p>\n One morning after he\u2019d eaten breakfast and his big sisters were still sleeping, he picked out two children\u2019s books and came into my bedroom where I was catching up on email.<\/p>\n \u201cWill you read these to me?\u201d he asked in a small voice, almost<\/strong> like he was preparing himself for the \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I\u2019m busy right now\u201d<\/em> that was sure to come.<\/p>\n But for whatever reason that day, I looked at my youngest child and pictured him five years older, sleeping in like his sisters and no longer asking me to read to him. So instead of mentally reviewing my long to-do list, I caught myself.<\/p>\n I smiled. \u201cSure, buddy.\u201d<\/p>\n He lit up.<\/em> We climbed into my bed, got under the covers, and read together, just the two of us. And that was the start of a cozy morning routine that\u2019s still going to this day. All it takes is 10 minutes, but every morning, he bounces away smiling\u2014the 5-year-old embodiment of Tigger energy.<\/p>\n\n My youngest has always been my most emotionally intense child. His feelings are big<\/strong>, and he lets you know it.<\/p>\n Several times a day whenever he gets frustrated or angry or disappointed, he wails at top volume. The storm passes fairly quickly, but it certainly is a bumpy ride when you\u2019re in the thick of it.<\/p>\n But after he turned five, he started to mellow a bit. His outbursts weren\u2019t quite<\/em> so intense or quite<\/em> so loud. They became fewer and further between. Plus, he was able to play independently for longer stints.<\/p>\n I thought we\u2019d finally<\/strong> hit a developmental milestone when it came to his emotional regulation. I love<\/em> how emotionally attuned my child is and I wouldn\u2019t change him for the world, and yet it was still a relief to have fewer outbursts to navigate every day.<\/p>\n One weekday morning, I had a doctor\u2019s appointment, and I had to boogie in order to get out the door on time. So when my son came in to ask me to read to him, I said I didn\u2019t have time.<\/p>\n He hung his head a little but didn\u2019t have an outburst, so I thought he was fine.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But when I got home from my appointment later that morning, it was like we\u2019d unknowingly traveled in a time machine to a year ago.<\/p>\n His big feelings were front and center<\/strong>, exploding into outbursts at every little disappointment. He suddenly seemed incapable of playing by himself, so he repeatedly demanded his big sisters play with him, then would melt into a puddle when they couldn\u2019t immediately drop what they were doing to play.<\/p>\n My husband and I tried to troubleshoot all day: Is he hungry? Is he starting to get sick? Are we in the Twilight Zone?<\/em><\/p>\n Related: 101 Heartfelt and Simple Ways to Love Your Child Every Day<\/a> {Printable}<\/strong><\/p>\n That night, my husband and I collapsed into bed a full hour before our normal bedtime, worn out from the emotional rollercoaster.<\/p>\n Then the next morning, my son came into my bedroom like normal, and we cozied up in bed together to read. And 10 minutes later, his love tank was full, and he was off to the races.<\/p>\n Thinking the previous day had signaled a developmental regression, I braced myself for the outbursts that were sure<\/strong> to come.<\/p>\n But they never did.<\/p>\n He was back to himself again, not the version of himself from a year ago. My brain tried to solve the puzzle: What was different about the day before? What changed?<\/em><\/p>\n When we started the day with meaningful one-on-one connection, my son felt secure in my unconditional love for him. He could ride the waves of his emotions rather than getting swept away or pulled under. He was better able to play independently.<\/p>\n He was happier.<\/p>\n As a Certified Parent Educator, I know the science is clear: Children need unconditional love from their parents. Research shows that children who grow up feeling loved and accepted by their parents tend to have a healthier self-esteem, fewer behavior problems, and better academic performance.<\/p>\n And yet, even with<\/strong> all the training I\u2019ve completed and all the families I\u2019ve worked with, it took me a full day of racking my brain to solve the mystery of my own son\u2019s behavioral setback.<\/p>\n When it\u2019s your own<\/em> child, it\u2019s hard to see the difference that a small dose of meaningful connection can make. It\u2019s like you\u2019re trying to focus on a picture that\u2019s too close to your face.<\/p>\n Plus, your own emotions can cloud your vision.<\/p>\n For example, if you\u2019re stressed, you tend to be less responsive, so you\u2019ll likely miss a shift in your child\u2019s behavioral patterns that might signal a need for more connection. Instead, their outbursts or meltdowns feel like just One More Thing you need to deal with, and you might snap at your child or lose your temper. (Ask me how I know.)<\/p>\n And that disconnection can lead to even more<\/em> emotional storms, which pushes you further apart from your child. Your child feels unmoored from the anchor of your unconditional love\u2014and it shows in their behavior\u2014and you feel at your wit\u2019s end.<\/p>\n Related: 60 Meaningful Family Bonding Activities to Nurture a Loving Bond<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Pay it forward to your future selves with the best<\/em> morning routine for kids. Before the emotional storms\u2014from your child or you. Before the disconnection. Before the distance feels too vast to close.<\/p>\n Spend 10 minutes filling your child\u2019s tank.<\/p>\n You can cozy up to read a children\u2019s book<\/a> together, go for a quick walk around the block, or sit down and play a quick card game. (My favorite card game to play with younger kids is Sleeping Queens<\/a>, and for older elementary kids and tweens, my go-to is Rat-a-Tat Cat<\/a> or Love Letter<\/a>.)<\/p>\n Not only will you grease the wheels for a smoother day with your child, you\u2019ll also nurture a warm and loving parent-child relationship that will last into the teenage years and beyond.<\/p>\nWhich Is Cute, But\u2026<\/h2>\n
Then One Day, Something Changed<\/h2>\n
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<\/figure>\nCan You Guess What Happened Next?<\/h2>\n
Finally, I Connected the Dots<\/h2>\n
Please Give Yourself Grace<\/h2>\n
So What\u2019s the Fix?<\/h2>\n
Rat-a-Tat Cat<\/a><\/h4>\n
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>
\u201cMy 5 year old\u2019s current favorite is Rat a Tat Cat by Gamewright. I really like how the rules can be adapted for an \u2018easy\u2019 and \u2018hard\u2019 version of the game, giving the game more longevity!\u201d \u2013 Patricia\n<\/div>\n