The mental, emotional, and physical toll of grief is exhausting. Yet the sleep we so desperately need in grief is often difficult to get in grief.<\/p>\n
When my oldest daughter began having a terrible time sleeping after her dad suddenly died, I had a sign painted for her room with Psalm 4:8<\/a> that says \u201cIn peace I will both\u00a0lie down and sleep; for you alone, O\u00a0Lord, make me\u00a0dwell in safety.\u201d<\/p>\n My stress seemed to stay on high alert after my husband suddenly died,<\/a> causing my mind and thoughts to race. I\u2019d awakened to his last breaths in our bed and now my sleep routine was completely off.<\/p>\n How do we find sleep in grief? Let\u2019s look at why loss disrupts sleep and how to help.<\/p>\n Sometimes it\u2019s an empty side of the bed that makes getting sleep difficult in grief. I have friends who have put pillows next to them to take up space. Sometimes it\u2019s a quiet house that screams life is different now.<\/p>\n Evenings and nights are generally harder is grief as it is. We can fill our day with activity and people, but nights bring a dark, quiet home.<\/p>\n Some grievers have trouble getting to sleep while others fall asleep well but wake during the night and can\u2019t get back to sleep. Dreams or racing thoughts can also disrupt sleep in grief.<\/p>\n 1. Ask friends to pray for your sleep. <\/strong>When people asked what they could do for me after Dan died, I gave them specific prayer needs. One of those was that I would get sleep. I knew they were praying because most nights I got solid sleep. I mean, yes I was single parenting seven children from preschool to teens and usually fell into bed exhausted by day\u2019s end. But the faithful prayers of friends helped me get desperately needed sleep.<\/p>\n 2. Create a simple nighttime ritual.<\/strong> A nighttime rhythm cues our body that it\u2019s time to go to sleep. We create nightly patterns for babies and children but somehow think as adults we can go straight from a busy day to sound sleep. A calming routine can include diming lights, drinking warm decaffeinated tea, taking off makeup and brushing teeth, putting on comfy pajamas, and closing out your day with devotional reading.<\/a><\/p>\n 3. Journal your thoughts.<\/strong> An end-of-day journaling practice helps us process the intense emotions and anxious thoughts of grief before bed. Research shows<\/a> journal writing helps us destress and improves sleep.\u00a0Add in a gratitude practice of looking back over your day and noting five to seven things to thank God for. God promises when we give our anxious thoughts to him with thanksgiving that he will give us his peace. Use this free gratitude collection<\/a> to start a calming, evening gratitude practice. <\/p>\n 4. Create a soothing sleep environment. <\/strong>Your bedroom may hold sad or traumatic memories after loss. I\u2019ve known several grievers who got new bedding or redecorated their bedrooms. Simple ways to create a soothing sleep sanctuary include decluttering, removing stacks of papers and bills, adding in cozy blankets and textures, and using soft lightbulbs<\/a>.<\/p>\n 5. Keep it dark and cold.<\/strong> I grew up with nightlights but have learned a dark environment is best for deep, undisturbed sleep. Eliminate light from clocks, phones, and other electronics.Adding black out curtains<\/a> may help, but be sure to pull them back when you wake for morning light. Experts also recommend<\/a> keeping your bedroom at 60-67 degrees Fahrenheit for deep sleep.<\/p>\n 6. Get back to sleep after waking.<\/strong> Sometimes the problem isn\u2019t going to sleep initially but getting back to sleep after waking. Tossing and turning or picking up a phone to look at the time only make it harder to get back to sleep. Instead, experts recommend we get out of bed<\/a>, find a comfortable reading spot with dim light, and open a boring book. As soon as your eyelids grow heavy, move back to the bed and go back to sleep.<\/p>\n A word of caution. If you\u2019re tempted to self-medicate with alcohol, over-the-counter medications that cause drowsiness, or other substances, please see a medical professional who can help you find a long-term solution. In my experience walking with others in grief, turning to a substance to escape or alleviate the pain only postpones the grief work we have to do to move forward well. (Also, this post is offered as experience and not as medical advice.)<\/p>\n When anxiety won\u2019t stop.<\/strong> When the house or bed feel lonely. When thoughts and memories are racing. <\/strong> When you toss with fear in the middle of the night.<\/strong> When the future feels heavy at night. <\/strong> When your body is exhausted. <\/strong>![\"\"](\"https:\/\/lisaappelo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/sleep-in-grief-tiny.jpg\")
<\/figure>\nWhy You Can\u2019t Sleep in Grief<\/h2>\n
Tips to Get Sleep in Grief<\/h2>\n
Bible Verses for Sleep in Grief<\/h2>\n
\u201cDo not be anxious about anything,\u00a0but in everything by prayer and supplication\u00a0with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And\u00a0the peace of God,\u00a0which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.\u201d (Philippians 4:6\u20137, ESV<\/a>)<\/p>\n
<\/strong>\u201cThe Lord\u00a0is near to\u00a0the brokenhearted and saves\u00a0the crushed in spirit.\u201d (Psalm 34:18, ESV<\/a>)<\/p>\n
\u201cIn peace I will both lie down and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.\u201d (Psalm 4:8, ESV<\/a>)<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I am afraid, I put my trust in You.\u201d (Psalm 56:3, ESV<\/a>)<\/p>\n
\u201cFor I know the plans I have for you, declares the\u00a0Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil,\u00a0to give you a future and a hope.\u201d (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV<\/a>)<\/p>\n
\u201cCome to\u00a0me, all who labor and are\u00a0heavy laden, and I will give you rest.\u201d (Matthew 11:28, ESV<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n