{"id":7069455,"date":"2026-09-29T00:17:53","date_gmt":"2026-09-29T00:17:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/som2nypost.com\/uncategorized\/five-tools-for-difficult-conversations\/"},"modified":"2026-09-29T00:17:53","modified_gmt":"2026-09-29T00:17:53","slug":"five-tools-for-difficult-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/som2nypost.com\/?p=7069455","title":{"rendered":"Five Tools for Difficult Conversations"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"row\">\n<p>                Author:<br \/>\n                                    Barbara Palmer                    \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<!----><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div id=\"attachment_259212\" style=\"width: 1010px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-259212\" class=\"size-full wp-image-259212\" src=\"https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Luthra-on-stage.jpg\" alt=\"Luthra is also a globally recognized author, keynote speaker, and DEI expert.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"550\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Luthra-on-stage.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Luthra-on-stage-300x165.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Luthra-on-stage-768x422.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Luthra-on-stage-728x400.jpg 728w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p id=\"caption-attachment-259212\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Leadership and organizational behavior expert Poornima Luthra is a globally recognized author and educator.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>The world we live in today, characterized by complexity, uncertainty, and change, is also one where rising polarization has made it \u201creally difficult to have conversations at work, at meetings, by the coffee machine,\u201d said organizational behavior expert Poornima Luthra, in the Convening EMEA opening keynote on Sept. 14 in Lisbon, Portugal. In turn, the things that stand in the way of robust conversations in the face of differences affect our ability to trust one another and to collaborate, said Luthra, a principal lecturer at the Imperial Business School in London and author of the 2025 book <em>Can I Say That? Your Go-To Guide for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Luthra has spent the last two-and-a-half years researching what\u2019s behind our polarization, including the emotions that are evoked when we engage with people holding very different viewpoints from our own. What Luthra discovered, she said, is that we react to perspectives that are very different from our own as threats, which activates the core human emotion of fear. It can take many forms \u2014 the fear of change, of doing or saying the wrong thing, or of being asked to think of ourselves or act in new ways \u2014 and makes it much harder for us to have conversations across our differences, she said. \u201cIn today\u2019s world, there\u2019s so much stigmatization, so much of a cancel culture,\u201d Luthra said, \u201cand that really prevents so many of us from actually taking the steps forward that we need to be taking to make change happen.\u201d<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_259209\" style=\"width: 1010px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-259209\" class=\"size-full wp-image-259209\" src=\"https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/5tools.jpg\" alt=\"Dr. Poornima Luthra is the author of Can I Say That? and The Art of Active Allyship. \" width=\"1000\" height=\"563\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/5tools.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/5tools-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/5tools-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/5tools-728x410.jpg 728w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p id=\"caption-attachment-259209\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Dr. Poornima Luthra is the author of<em> Can I Say That<\/em>? and <em>The Art of Active Allyship<\/em>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div><!-- Widget by WYSIWYG Widgets v2.3.8 - https:\/\/wordpress.org\/plugins\/wysiwyg-widgets\/ --><\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-247337 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/pcma-convene-40-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"126\" height=\"84\" data-wp-editing=\"1\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/pcma-convene-40-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/pcma-convene-40-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/pcma-convene-40-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/pcma-convene-40-615x410.jpg 615w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/pcma-convene-40.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 126px) 100vw, 126px\"\/><a href=\"https:\/\/convn.org\/easy-subscribe\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Subscribe<\/a> to <em>Convene<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Want deep-dive insights on events delivered to your inbox? <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/subscribe-newsletters\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Sign up<\/a> for our newsletters<\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<p><!-- \/ WYSIWYG Widgets --><\/div>\n<h3>Some Good News<\/h3>\n<p>But we\u2019re not stuck, Luthra said. Her research also identified five tools, or ways of thinking, that have the potential to help us let go of our fear and create the kinds of conversations and environments that build trust between people:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Openness<\/strong> Luthra urged the audience to intentionally seek out alternative points of view, even when it\u2019s uncomfortable. \u201cVery often we look for perspectives that feed our own beliefs and the [news and social media] algorithms of today only help us do that,\u201d she said. But \u201cin order to bridge the polarization that divides us, we have to understand where people are coming from and the life experiences that have led them to think and feel the way they do about the world around them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Curiosity<\/strong> Biases are everywhere, Luthra said. \u201cThey\u2019re in us, they\u2019re in our systems, and our culture.\u201d Our brains receive 11 million bits of information every second, yet we only consciously process 40 bits per second, which means that most of the information we receive is filtered through our unconscious mental shortcuts and characterizations of others, she said. \u201cBridging differences starts with being curious about and educating yourself about your own biases.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And instead of jumping in to share your own perspective when you encounter different points of view, stay curious, Luthra counseled. \u201cUse every interaction that you have with other people as an opportunity to understand others better.\u201d<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_259213\" style=\"width: 1010px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-259213\" class=\"size-full wp-image-259213\" src=\"https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/resilence_slide.jpeg\" alt=\"Luthra stressed the importance of resilience in her talk at Convening EMEA.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"563\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/resilence_slide.jpeg 1000w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/resilence_slide-300x169.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/resilence_slide-768x432.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/www.pcma.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/resilence_slide-728x410.jpeg 728w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\"\/><\/p>\n<p id=\"caption-attachment-259213\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">in her Convening EMEA keynote, Luthra highlighted the role of resilience in bridging differences with others.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>Vulnerability<\/strong> We often feel discomfort, including feeling physically uncomfortable, when we talk with someone with a very different perspective from our own, Luthra said. But we can learn \u201cto get comfortable with our discomfort\u201d and to create space for different ideas, she said. Her most recent research has shown that teams quickly converge around a particular perspective, she said, due in part to time pressure and deadlines. But Luthra advised resisting the temptation to reach consensus too quickly in team meetings. Just holding space \u201cfor a couple of extra minutes can work wonders in inviting in different viewpoints.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Courage<\/strong> When the world feels very polarized, the potential for suffering negative personal consequences for standing up for our principles looms large, Luthra said. \u201cIt\u2019s not an easy journey.\u201d But when there\u2019s something that you believe needs to be addressed, \u201cI\u2019m a big believer in questions,\u201d she said. When you ask the right questions in the right tone \u2014 not \u2018gotcha\u2019 questions, but ones that come from the place of curiosity \u2014 it can foster an environment of collaboration and trust, she said.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Resilience<\/strong> Change takes time, which makes resilience \u201cperhaps the most important, but most challenging\u201d tool of them all, Luthra said. \u201cFor change to happen in our organizations, in our teams, in wider society, we have to be patient,\u201d and it\u2019s easy to doubt that our actions can have an impact, she said. But it\u2019s the small changes over time that matter the most, Luthra said. \u201cSo within your sphere of influence, start challenging, asking those questions, engaging respectfully, having those dialogues, and also being willing to challenge your own viewpoints on how you see the world.\u201d And finally, she said, \u201ctrust in the purpose of what you\u2019re trying to gain out of these conversations.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/mailto@bpalmer@pcma.org\">Barbara Palmer<\/a> is <\/em>Convene<em>\u2019s deputy editor<\/em><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author: Barbara Palmer \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Leadership and organizational behavior expert Poornima Luthra is a globally recognized author and educator. The world we live in today, characterized by complexity, uncertainty, and change, is also one where rising polarization has made it \u201creally difficult to have conversations at work, at meetings, by the coffee machine,\u201d said organizational behavior [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7069456,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[149548,100693],"tags":[15587,15689,708],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-7069455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-event-strategy-design","category-news-trends","tag-conversations","tag-difficult","tag-tools"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Five Tools for Difficult Conversations - Som2ny Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/som2nypost.com\/?p=7069455\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Five Tools for Difficult Conversations - Som2ny Network\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Author: Barbara Palmer \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Leadership and organizational behavior expert Poornima Luthra is a globally recognized author and educator. 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