\n
I\u2019m pretty sure anyone who knows me would tell you I\u2019m pretty much the embodiment of femininity. I love dresses and I\u2019m makeup obsessed, with a lipstick collection that would rival any beauty store, and yet I still struggle to see myself as feminine or beautiful. Being disabled, I\u2019m often seen as non-gendered, nonsexual, and wholly outside of any standards of beauty.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Growing up, boys would often tell me they felt comfortable saying inappropriate things in front of me, because \u201cI wasn\u2019t really a girl.\u201d It took me years to understand what they really meant, and even longer to realize that who I am has nothing to do with other people\u2019s expectations of who I should be, and everything to do with how I see myself.<\/p>\n
As I got older, I realized being seen as non-girl when I strongly identified as a woman and a very feminine woman at that, had to do with the male gaze, and the idea that I couldn\u2019t be seen as an attractive or feminine because I was visibly physically disabled, and far from thin. It sounds strange, but as I got older their words began to feel more real, and I struggled to see myself as \u201creally a girl.\u201d I also began to feel ashamed of wanting to be pretty, and started feeling pretty was a bad thing, especially if I wanted to be revolutionary, and change the world.<\/p>\n
I began to question my ideas of beauty and what it meant for me to be beautiful as a fat, disabled woman. For a moment, I started to think that embracing femininity was wrong because it meant I was doing what society expected of me, but then I realized that nothing could be further from the truth. For me, embracing things that made me feel beautiful was radical because I live in a body that exists outside of what society thinks can be beautiful.<\/p>\n
I wear dresses and makeup as a sign of my rebellion against the idea that I cannot be feminine. I choose to embrace my feminine side because it makes me feel comfortable in my own skin. I wear dresses and makeup and take selfies for me, not for anyone else. I have learned to embrace my body instead of hating it, and expressing myself with makeup and clothing is a game-changer for me in a body like mine, that is so often stripped of any gender or sexuality.<\/p>\n
I’ve realized that I don’t have to reject the things that make me feel like who I am to be revolutionary. Instead, refusing to be erased, or rendered invisible or undesirable in my body is its own revolution. Proclaiming to the world that I see myself as beautiful is taking back and rewriting the narrative that says beautiful can never belong to someone like me.<\/p>\n
Whether it’s femininity, masculinity, or something in between, embracing the things that make you feel beautiful and comfortable in your own skin is revolutionary, especially when you live in a body that society says will never be good enough. <\/p>\n
I rock dresses with sneakers and do my makeup every day for me, because it reminds me in a world that either erases or objectifies my body, that my body is mine, and my story mine too. Fashion reminds me that I don’t have to fit into anyone else’s narrative, because who I am is enough.<\/p>\n
I am learning to be who I am 100% of the time and accept myself in my own skin. I\u2019m learning that my body is mine, and self-expression is powerful and beautiful. I\u2019m learning that I may not always love myself 100% of the time, but I\u2019m learning to accept who I am, and I think acceptance is 1000 times more powerful.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m pretty sure anyone who knows me would tell you I\u2019m pretty much the embodiment of femininity. I love dresses and I\u2019m makeup obsessed, with a lipstick collection that would rival any beauty store, and yet I still struggle to see myself as feminine or beautiful. Being disabled, I\u2019m often seen as non-gendered, nonsexual, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":87856,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12022],"tags":[14232,14233,37393,784,8568,42957,1783,16147],"dealstore":[],"offerexpiration":[],"class_list":["post-87855","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-activist","tag-claiming","tag-crip","tag-disabled","tag-fashion","tag-fat","tag-femme","tag-power","tag-transformative"],"yoast_head":"\n
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