Where the Shadows End « neverimitate
Where the Shadows End, by Louisa Bello, is narrated by a 45 year old London man of dual heritage. Sam’s mother, Agnes, was Irish and his father Nigerian, although the boy was told virtually nothing about the latter who left Agnes before their child was born. Sam suffers from mental health and trust issues. Many in his community have looked out for him throughout his life, offering food and shelter when needed. Nevertheless, the psychologically abusive treatment he suffered under the supposed care of his mother alongside the bullying he endured at school, have left him traumatised.
The story opens with Sam going to visit a houseboat dweller with whom he appears to have had some sort of sexual relationship. The imagery invoked sets the scene for the unfolding tale with its unpleasant descriptions of bodies and bodily fluids. The narration has a stuttering quality allowing the reader to understand how Sam processes his thoughts. He often turns to someone called Rosa – who now lives inside his head – for advice.
The vernacular takes some getting used to (I still can’t work out what it means to ‘kiss my teeth’). With concentration this need not interrupt flow and comprehension although the world as Sam sees it is both troubled and soiled. Many of those in his neighbourhood are kindly but they do at times talk crudely. There also seems to be a great deal of spittle and phlegm to deal with alongside stained clothing, sweat and body odour. None of this allows the cast to appear endearing however kindly some of their actions may be.
Beyond all of this unpleasantness the unfolding tale moves back and forth between the present day and Sam’s childhood. I found the latter more interesting although Agnes was clearly a piece of work. Sam both loved her and hated her, understandable given how she treated him. What he became, however, is not entirely down to her.
As a young teenager Sam would smoke weed which perhaps helps explain the psychosis he suffers as an adult. He also carries guilt around what eventually became of his mother although it is unclear why this remains so severe – other than his diminished mental capacity. It could also be because he struggles with any form of self-esteem, any confidence in himself having been quashed so often as a child. Sam lives on benefits and handouts although he has the home he once shared with his mother. Like her, he makes no attempt to make this a pleasant place to live.
The cast includes two elderly gentlemen who have known Sam since he was a child and try to offer friendship. An incident is recounted when one of them, a shopkeeper, has his premises damaged by looters during a riot while Sam is there. He is impotent in attempts to stop them. They do not just steal (just!) but wantonly damage. It is hard to garner sympathy for those willing to behave in this way – another red flag in attempts to portray a cohesive community.
A pivotal moment in the story comes when Sam realises his friends have not been open and honest with him. While this betrayal could have caused him to further lose control of his life trajectory, it instead appears to pull something in his head together. Those he encounters day to day, who he had mentally assigned roles that revolve around him, are now viewed more clearly.
It was hard to get past the cultural disconnect I experienced, especially the voodoo aspects. I struggled to empathise with the literary diorama created, trying to find reasons for Sam’s behaviour as viewed through a western lens. I cannot say I enjoyed reading this book although I did want to know the outcome.
Whatever my personal qualms, the writing remained polished and pithy. That the characters and their habits were so off-putting likely says more about me as a reader than the author’s undoubted skills.
Where the Shadows End is published by époque press
