Having food allergies requires incredible year-round stamina, and the end of the school year can be a very demanding time for kids with food allergies and their parents.
The sheer volume of special events packed into a few weeks can be overwhelming. Class parties, field day, school concerts, and graduation parties all pile up at once.
While it’s all very exciting, it’s also a lot.
Food Focused Celebrations
With our strong culture of food-focused celebrations, most special year-end events will require additional logistics (and added stress) for parents and kids managing food allergies.
And in an effort to fit everything in, teachers and administrators are often stretched-thin, which can lead to more last-minute events and less advance communication for you.
This may mean less advance notice for you and more surprises to navigate. Here’s what has worked well for our family.
Survival Tips and Strategies
Through our family’s own trials and errors, and by talking with lots of food allergy families, I’ve amassed some tips and strategies to help you safely push through to summer.
1. Remind and Request
With all the logistics teachers and admins must manage during this time of year, your child’s food allergies may not be top of mind. Help by sending your child’s teachers a friendly reminder.
Ask for a calendar of food-related events and advance notice of what special foods will be served so you can provide a safe alternative. Teachers appreciate the help! Better yet, draft a template to use so you are not writing from scratch each time.Save the template in a folder on your phone or computer to re-use each year.
Here’s an example you can use as a starting point:
2. Bake Ahead (or buy) Favorite Treats
Batch bake (or buy!) several of of your child’s favorite treats and freeze them in individual portions so they are ready for any celebration.
We make a batch of cupcakes, brownies, and our favorite GF cookies so we have options for the special treats, no matter what everyone else is having.
Having choices gives your child some autonomy and helps them feel more included, both of which are struggles for allergy kids.
We keep a stash of each treat at school in the freezer so she always has them on hand.
Also, anytime I make a dessert for a gathering at home (GF Gooey Butter Cake, GF Lemon Blueberry Bars, GF Banana Bread, etc.),
I wrap and freeze one portion for future festivities
.
3. Volunteer to Supply Class Treats
Whenever there’s a sign-up or a call for treats, volunteer to contribute an allergy-safe item. That way, you know your child will have something available. You can even set aside a portion ahead of time to avoid cross-contact worries.
It’s usually a win-win: your child gets to contribute to the class and participate safely, and her peers get to see how delicious allergy-friendly eating can be!
For more tips on how to manage the mental load of food allergies, how to stay allergy safe at summer camp, or our tips for air travel with severe food allergies, check out my other articles.
Give Space for Grace
As you navigate all of this, give teachers and yourself some grace. If someone forgets about the post-play popsicles or the Spanish class fiesta, try to be understanding. They have a lot on their plates, and so do you!
While it’s genuinely hard to witness your child being excluded from joyful moments, it’s bound to happen sometimes. What you can control is how you respond, and your reaction frames your child’s experience.
The Emotional Side: Supporting Your Child Through Celebration Season
The end of the year isn’t just logistically demanding. It can also take a queit emotional toll on kids with food allergies. Here’s how to stay attuned and keep your child feeling supported.
Validate, Empathize, and Improvise
It is disappointing and alienating to sit out when it’s time for cookie-decorating, or decline the treat that the rest of the class is having. Acknowledge how it feels and don’t minimize the challenges your child faces every day.
“I’m sorry. That’s a bummer that you couldn’t have the class cake. It probably felt really unfair. Let’s re-stock your school treats for next time. Want to go pick a flavor of ice cream for us to have tonight?”
What to Say When They’re Left Out
Monitor Moods
When celebration season ramps up, keep an eye out for social withdrawal. A lot of friendship bonding happens around eating. And if your child feels like an outsider in those moments, it can quietly start to shift their behavior.
If your child starts asking to skip events to avoid the stress of food-centered celebrations, they may need some extra support.
Food anxiety can lead to social anxiety, which can be challenging at any age. But it’s particularly isolating as children grow toward adolescence and peer connection becomes even more important.
Sometimes kids with food allergies can feel like they are a “problem” or they “ruin things,” especially if peers or siblings complain about the rules or restrictions that keep your child safe.
Here’s what you can do if things get stormy:
Postitive Empowerment
Celebrate your child’s resilience and strengths openly and often.
Managing a hidden medical condition in social settings takes courage, confidence, and persistence and those lifelong success traits are worth naming out loud. Your tween may roll their eyes, but they also know you’re right.
Here are some ways to reinforce the positive:
- Compliment them on how mature and flexible they have been in tough situations.
- Tell them how proud you are of how they are learning to advocate for themselves.
- Give them permission to say no to events occasionally if the risk/reward ratio isn’t worth it. Sometimes we just need a break.
- Talk to your child’s siblings about how they can show up with empathy, especially before big events.
- Check in on your child’s vigilance around food is staying at a healthy level, and seek help from a counselor if you feel like it’s becoming debilitating.
Rehearse the Scripts
Every few months, help your child rehearse how to politely and comfortably decline a treat that they may feel unsafe eating. A little role play goes a long way for building confidence and helps them build their advocacy skills.
Some examples to practice:
“No, thank you. I have a food allergy so I can only eat something if I can check a label.”
“Thank you, but can you text a photo of the label to my mom so she can check it?”
“Thanks, but I’m really sensitive to cross-contact from other foods, so I should skip it.”
Reframe and Celebrate
Shift the focus toward what your child can do and enjoy, like playing an instrument, sports they love, creative crafts, and friendships.
Reflect together on how far you’ve come with managing a food allergy.
And celebrate the milestones: anaphylaxis-free stretches, the moments your child advocated for themselves, the parties they navigated with grace. Those things deserve recognition.
Seasonal Checklinst: Spring Refresh
While you’re in end-of-year mode, use the season change as a prompt for a few important maintenance tasks.
Check Expiration Dates
Check expiration dates on your epinephrine injectors and other emergency medications, like Benadryl or Albuterol. An expired EpiPen can have life-threatening consequences.
Set Recurring Calendar Reminder
Set a calendar reminder for every three months to check expiration dates.
This gives you time to order refills and deal with insurance without a lapse in viable medications.
And if your child is old enough, involve them in checking their own emergency kit.
Talk to Your Allergist
Spring is a good time to revisit possible treatments with your allergist. What wasn’t a good fit last year may be worth reconsidering now (OIT, Xolair, SLIT, TIP).
While there is no cure for food allergies, our understanding of immunology is always growing and new treatment options or medications may meaningfully improve quality of life.
Let this be a reminder to make your annual appointment.
I hope your school year ends smoothly, with low-stress and many smiles.
I’ll be right there with you!
